tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69019462209102214472024-02-18T20:49:03.613-05:00Joyful LeadershipA focus on seeing the possibilities in all situations, in yourself and in others. In essence, Joyful leadership is about being leader in your own life!Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.comBlogger333125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-32165333621820075082014-04-06T18:10:00.000-04:002014-04-06T18:12:44.877-04:00Temporary Insanity<br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">I</span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
recently found myself in a state of temporary insanity. The basis of my
insanity was fear. Fear that I had caused harm, which then caused me to fear I
had no control since it was not my intention to hurt anyone in the first place.
This combination can be deadly to joy, which can only be present for the sane. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After
circling round and round for a while in this spiral of fear, I realized that I
was feeding my own insanity. As I looked for other weaknesses I possess where I
may cause future harm, it caused my fear to increase. It was only after
realizing what I was doing to myself, and that I did actually have control,
that I was able to pull myself out of the dark hole and back into the light. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now
that I’m back, I can reflect on my lesson. (This is not a new lesson, I
apparently just forgot it…. which happens with temporary insanity) What I have
recalled is things change….emotions, thoughts, situations, actions and words of
those around us. As these elements shift, our level of fear can shift. If we
are especially willing and desiring to feel better than the way we do when we
are insane, this process can occur rather easily. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I
was willing. I was ready. I had a strong desire to feel better…to be sane once
again and in just over 24 hours, I was back. I was back to the land of love,
where I can now see things more clearly, where I can be aligned with who I
really am. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Unfortunately
when we are temporarily insane we may fool ourselves into thinking our
self-abuse will actually heal the harm we may have caused, where in truth, it
only delays healing and it some cases can actually increase the harm to those
we wish to protect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Love
heals all….even temporary insanity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-89166920260667782452014-02-22T17:27:00.000-05:002014-02-22T17:27:03.729-05:00Room for JoyIn this dog eat dog, competitive world we're in, some businesses frown on joy in the workplace. Having fun at work is believed by some to actually infringe on productivity and that it negatively affects the bottom line.<br />
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I understand that every business owner, manager, or supervisor would want to see every employee showing up at their best. . .giving their all for the company that employs them. For some reason, there seems to be a collapsing of the concepts of joy and fun engagement with a lack of serious commitment and a strong work ethic, as if they cannot co-exist.<br />
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Perhaps it is because I believe the world would be a better place if there was more joyful souls, or because I have worked on teams that were fun loving and have worked with those that were serious and cut-throat in their interactions. Without a doubt, the teams that held a high value around team spirit and joyful engagement, not only had more enjoyable work environments, they were more efficient and productive in their work. <br />
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Other positive side effects include greater camaraderie where employees sincerely care about their co-workers and seek to help one another when things get tough, rather than be in competition. Employee turnover and sick days are less since the work environment that promotes joyful interactions is a more pleasant place to be. Why would people want to leave a pleasant and connected environment and team?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAR4s19kfZYzDiLh_04xyOzXl1WbyV_hoZgcnwrLmuiQ1DlA1GAfU4BY9VAz4Mgfei09HYNxQTSqqS8lQhvhZjt6wSLEBTqSP3Ct9ui1MIKttQd_Uv2tv9BDmbC3KqTWmBSJKZYxajxdRb/s1600/Helen-Keller-joy-quote2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAR4s19kfZYzDiLh_04xyOzXl1WbyV_hoZgcnwrLmuiQ1DlA1GAfU4BY9VAz4Mgfei09HYNxQTSqqS8lQhvhZjt6wSLEBTqSP3Ct9ui1MIKttQd_Uv2tv9BDmbC3KqTWmBSJKZYxajxdRb/s1600/Helen-Keller-joy-quote2.png" height="220" width="320" /></a></div>
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Seeing employees as more than simply machines that punch clocks, do their jobs and have no heart to heart connection with their co-workers is a win-win at every level. People are emotional beings, they are not machines. Working in an environment where there is room for joy, for compassion, for fun, understanding and sincere connection is beyond a doubt, a healthier environment that one without.<br />
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Imagine if there was room for JOY in every group, on every team, in every home, and in every business. My bet is that problems would be solved more quickly, people would be more collaborative, communicative and cooperation would be the norm. That combination would not only be a successful one for making money for the business, it would be paving a positive track for others to follow. <br />
<br />Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-63412509667494786912014-02-01T11:46:00.000-05:002014-02-01T18:30:51.234-05:00The Auto Correct Fantasy<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine if your mind worked like the software in your computer and every time you had a thought that was a complaint, self deprecating, unkind in reference to others, or negative in any way. . .it would automatically correct itself. </span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnxk0fqhclFI28AA9GUdciCqjYrzJkxOZyjP8RUtuilBOBFmicw37h5dqCUmTs_Q_zfzNhvTb3Z4-TAED89EZ_xy65DJ1QO4eOyRSLyXfYY6Kr9jvbJWtYbX1PsIrybDSy7Z6n2Oi5t3zX/s1600/YES+keys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnxk0fqhclFI28AA9GUdciCqjYrzJkxOZyjP8RUtuilBOBFmicw37h5dqCUmTs_Q_zfzNhvTb3Z4-TAED89EZ_xy65DJ1QO4eOyRSLyXfYY6Kr9jvbJWtYbX1PsIrybDSy7Z6n2Oi5t3zX/s1600/YES+keys.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stuart Miles</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine how you would feel if the litany of complaints that you think about your life would be interrupted and exchanged for the things you're grateful for. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine how much more productive you would be if auto-correct changed your thoughts about your fears to ways you can live your dreams.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine how much more creative you would be if when you made a mistake, auto correct would stop you from spiraling down to a place where your creativity would hide in fear of making another error, to trying again and again until you get it right. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine how much more you would enjoy nature when auto correct would stop you from day dreaming during sunsets or drives through the mountains. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine how much better your relationships would be if auto-correct shifted your thoughts from blaming someone else to loving them as you seek to understand and to be understood. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine how nice it would be to not put your foot in your mouth if auto-correct stopped you from saying something you'd regret later. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Although this sounds like a fantasy, auto-correct is actually possible for each of us. Unfortunately, it won't come with new software, where we are passive and it just happens. It comes with practiced awareness and presence in each moment. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The next time you notice your mind taking you in a direction that makes you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, angry, resentful, jealous, vengeful, fearful or any other way that is not contributing to the life you want, choose to correct that thought. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Exchange each negative thought for something else that feels better. Breathe as you make this shift. Repeat often. Soon you will find that your auto-correcct mechanism is working spontaneously because your mind's software will be programmed just the way you want it. </span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-6961403591120684562014-01-18T07:00:00.000-05:002014-01-19T16:22:30.486-05:00A Motto to Remember<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.3em;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now that 2014 has a few weeks under its belt, perhaps it is time to assess how well you are staying on the course you set for yourself for the next eleven months or so. If you haven't given it a thought, fear not, since it is never too late to find some sort of inspiration, that not only helps you meet your goals, but will assist you being your best. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">For about ten years now, I have created a motto for myself in the beginning of each year to serve as a personal reminder on showing up at my best and to keep myself on a positive track. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here's a few of my all time favorites from past years:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong>"Good Enough is Not Enough"</strong> served me at a time when I was trying to break the habit of thinking I accomplished all I needed to in my life and that there was no need to strive to learn or do more. I was tempted to stay in the state of the familiar, rather than stretch into the <em>unknown</em>. When I thought about this motto, it was energizing and reminded me we are never done. Learning and growing will continue as long as we're open to possibilities. As it turned out, I was just afraid I might fail, so playing smaller was easier than taking chances. This motto brought out my boldness and served me well to take some leaps into the unknown.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong>"Welcome" </strong>was intended as a reminder to be open to new learning, opportunities, abundance and even uncomfortable challenges, since that is where I sometimes learn and grow the most. It was pivotal in teaching me to be open to new ideas and to not resist the things I cannot change.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong>"Grace and Ease" </strong>reminded me to be gentle rather than forceful. It helped me practice peaceful acceptance of whatever was showing up, rather than holding stress as I met challenges and difficulties. It also taught me to trust that everything will work out.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My motto for 2014 is <strong>"Playful</strong> <strong>Presence</strong>". This is a fun one since being playful is the most natural, joy-producing way of being I know. It hits me at the core and embodies ease along with a light hearted way of living and working. It reminds me not to take anything (or anyone) of a potentially negative nature too seriously. When I am embodying this motto, I am having fun and am at my creative best. The word <em>presence </em>holds significance since it means pause, be aware, notice, be tuned into the moment. Without presence, the true joy of playfulness can be missed. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, if creating a motto sounds intriguing for you, I suggest you pause to think about how you want to <em>feel</em> and <em>be</em> this year. Write down some goals you would like to accomplish and then imagine yourself successfully completing them. Next step is to assess what words of inspiration will keep you in a positive mindset and feeling how you want to feel. Your motto will also serve by helping you get back on track f you slip off course into an old way of responding to life and its challenges.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There are no rules to creating a motto if the words speak to you in a deep way. Other people don't have to understand it. You don't have to explain or defend your motto. You simply have to feel it's power. If it doesn't move you when you think about it, keep on playing with other options until you land on one that is speaking directly to you.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To deepen the power of your motto, writing some specific examples of how it speaks to you will serve as a handy reminder and can give you a jump start on those tough and challenging days when you lose sight of your dream and how you want to <em>be</em> through the year.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The bottom line of my Motto Message is make it yours so it will guide you through the year when you lose your way.</span></div>
Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-77801003949739940942014-01-06T18:03:00.000-05:002014-01-06T18:03:01.631-05:00Be Your Best<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A new year is upon us and it is quite likely that you may be taking stock of yourself, your work, your relationships, habits, and life in general, assessing what changes you would like to make so that you can <i>be your best</i>. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Many of us take this new year tradition as a time to improve ourselves in some way, and for some it can turn out to be an opportunity to scrutinize ourselves to the point all we can see is our faults. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now, I am not going to dissuade you from taking a good hard look at how you've been showing up in the world, paying attention to how much stress you've felt or transmitted, or the impact you have on others. My suggestion is to not do your self assessment from a place of lack or judgment, but rather from the standpoint of being MORE ALIGNED with what is naturally great about you. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Consider this perspective: You came into this world complete with an array of natural gifts. They were hard wired into the beautiful creation that is the spirit of <i>you. </i>As your life went on, due to a variety of circumstances, you may have lost sight of those natural gifts and began to see yourself as lacking in some way. You may have begun to compare yourself to others, or put yourself down for not being <i>good enough. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The truth is, your beautiful gifts that you came into this world embodying, are still there. Unfortunately, you may not be knowing or trusting their presence. If you don't know you've <i>got </i>it, it makes it hard to <i>use it. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, as you take stock of yourself in this time of renewal, be sure to look within at the truth of who you are and how you are (or are not) living up to manifesting those gifts in your life. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgTVDaAg-ut57thduqsknZikYs_67k46F-M0hiWPKaTzO9luEdj2j_T2JokxcbwVfUiVN05RN6HXG4cWf9qKxVvGt4gjUk-YgnnKqldxPz7T_ezgUe7zdvNBYpnKXRHmYweaOgWTWaIqV/s1600/People+will+love+you.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgTVDaAg-ut57thduqsknZikYs_67k46F-M0hiWPKaTzO9luEdj2j_T2JokxcbwVfUiVN05RN6HXG4cWf9qKxVvGt4gjUk-YgnnKqldxPz7T_ezgUe7zdvNBYpnKXRHmYweaOgWTWaIqV/s200/People+will+love+you.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The tip in making this process easier is to get real and identify what is innately true about you. If kindness is natural, be kind. If compassion feels natural, be compassionate. If sensitivity is a gift others appreciate in you, be sensitive. If you're naturally bold and adventuresome, take more risks. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It is a win-win situation for ourselves and for every life we touch when each of us stays true to who we are. . .I mean who we really are rather than live our lives constantly longing to be someone else. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Being your best, means just that. Be <b>YOUR</b> best, not someone else. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-36521159154769507932013-12-13T08:53:00.000-05:002013-12-13T08:54:55.962-05:00Peace Is Not A Season<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We are in the midst of the holiday season and peace and joy abound.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Shoppers are hustling and bustling about, choosing the perfect gifts for their loved ones. Trees are cut and decorated, families gather, special meals are prepared, and thoughtful gifts are shared. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We connect with friends, co-workers and neighbors to share a drink and special treats. We sing carols while standing around the piano, attend special church services and make donations to those that are less fortunate. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We follow the traditions, religious and secular, that mean something very special to us. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I think it's safe to say most people truly enjoy this time of year and show it in their mood and in their actions. I notice people going out of their way to be kind, friendly and welcoming. I see more patience, understanding, generosity and compassion in the midst of strangers, family members or co-workers. In essence, most of us seem to behave at our best this time of year and we all appreciate the extra acts of kindness we receive. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, if most of us enjoy the peace and joy of the season, why is it seasonal? Why don't we maintain the same sense of caring for our neighbor or co-worker all year long? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sound good? Well, it's possible! We just have to be conscious and deliberate with our attitude and actions. Peace is not a season. We can each behave in the same peaceful and caring way all year long and we can do it without having a punch bowl in the office lunch room. We can do it by consciously choosing to treat others in a way that would improve every conversation, every meeting and ultimately every relationship. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My offer to you is to remember your potential for having a very positive impact will go on long after the decorations come down. You can choose to be kind, generous and understanding every day. Hopefully, those whose lives you touch will pass it on to others, and that would truly be something to celebrate. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">May the blessings of this season carry on for you all year long! </span><br />
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Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-16874611388674972672013-07-04T14:59:00.004-04:002013-11-17T18:59:48.480-05:00My Heart's Stress Test<br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There has been some concern about the health of my heart after I experienced a couple episodes of chest pain last week. I'm extremely healthy, with no prior history of any problems and was surprised to be awakened in the middle of the night with sternal pain. If I hadn't just walked ten miles two days before, I may have overlooked the episode. Instead, I told my Doc, who ordered a nuclear stress test, so he could sleep better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Although, the official findings have not come back, the unofficial results have been reported below:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This sixty year old healthy, white female presented for her stress test on orders of her doctor. She noted the most stressful part of the procedure was going without coffee and chocolate for 24 hours prior to the test, and without food for eight hours. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>The test proved to be uneventful and routine even though she was not in charge of setting the speed or level of incline of the treadmill. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>An I.V. and wires were attached to the patient and she happily took off for her make believe hilly trek, while the physician, students and technicians looked on, watching the monitors and commenting on the heart's S-T segments, causing Kate to feel a bit like a lab rat in a laboratory. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>A short time into the procedure, it became clear that this subject's heart was quite large....not in a bad way, but in a way that has obviously allowed itself to be touched. There was also evidence that this big heart has reached out to touch many others. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This heart also showed significant signs of healing from previous episodes of being broken. It was warm and soft and surrounded with bubbles, which were apparently secondary to a history of numerous joyful experiences. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>There were chambers filled with happiness and some with sadness, all of which showed signs of being cracked open many times in the past, allowing for all that it contained to be fully felt. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>The heart beat was strong and regular, with a bit of a jazz rhythm to it. (Nice to listen to and easy to dance to). </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>There were some areas of mushiness....apparently secondary to watching quite a few You-Tube videos of dogs being rescued and kittens being cuddled by babies, as well as some touching marriage proposals. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Although 60 years old, this heart specimen was quite young in appearance and opened easily when new experiences and people were introduced to it. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Overall, this heart shows itself to be extremely healthy and resilient and is expected to continue to beat regularly until it stops. . . hopefully a long, long, time from now. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-61069274511806542032013-02-23T11:34:00.002-05:002013-02-23T11:34:44.770-05:00Time to Spare<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had an epiphany of sorts a few weeks ago as I stood in front of a San Diego hotel, waiting for my airport shuttle bus. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What struck me in the moment was that I was relaxed, calm and unhurried, even though travel will often tend to add to one's stress level. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As my wait continued, I realized that I can typically avoid the kind of stress that comes with travel, or even with life in general, since I make sure I am prepared and ready ahead of schedule. In other words, I tend to work my life in a way so that I have </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>time to spare</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This tendency that I have always had, and the benefits of which I apparently took for granted, was suddenly seen as a major key in keeping my stress levels low and peace levels high. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">For instance, when traveling, I begin to pack a day or two early, referring to a master list of all the things I typically need, instead of relying on my memory. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I print my boarding passes ahead and save time with check-in. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I weigh my bag at home to be sure I won't be inconvenienced if my bag goes over 50 pounds. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I pack snacks, reading material, etc. etc. in my carry-on so I will be comfortable and entertained.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Before returning home, I repack my bag the evening before, keeping what I will need aside for easy access in the morning. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">At home, I have back ups of various food items that I use frequently, so when I run out I won't have to make a quick run to the store in the midst of cooking or baking. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I use lists to help me remember what is needed to be done on that particular day.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I double recipes and freeze food for quick meals for a future date. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I schedule exercise time for myself as I would an appointment with someone else. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I respond to emails on a timely basis, rather than allow them to accumulate in my inbox. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I allow time in between my client appointments, just in case we go a bit long. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I leave my home a few minutes early to allow for any snags in traffic. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Okay, I could go on here, but I think you get the picture. When I (and you) anticipate what is needed and prepare for it in such a way that we avoid last minute inconveniences, life is easier. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Simple? Yes. Easy? Maybe not for some, but I guarantee even a bit more anticipatory thinking in your life will eliminate unnecessary stress. The elimination of little stressors that can accumulate into bigger ones, will give you time to spare to do the things you love. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The most wonderful part of having time to spare for me is having time to take a breath and when I (and you) have time to take a breath, there's room for peace. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-35224424699572476232012-12-29T13:47:00.000-05:002012-12-29T13:52:04.060-05:00Shake It Off<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Earlier this morning, I took my dog, Thor, out for a walk. The snow was coming down heavily adding to the twelve inches that fell a few days ago. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As we walked along, enjoying the beauty of the fluffy white coating everywhere I looked, I noticed that every few minutes Thor would shake off the snow that had accumulated on his brown burled coat. Since I'm usually opened to be inspired by a metaphor, this noticing was no exception. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUtrltpo1OtRDZNAE0XkSn9X2bbyKIH0HhUuaAE1K4tSyfRU1Q3H8xaAzbwgTYEb0M-JapJMC5zRT-MIHDyaX4GIYQx2Z_N2Ex9QP-xwa820BIvDqbVdzADBeYgEiZTeQM6RBJCtBvVBkI/s1600/Thor+in+snow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUtrltpo1OtRDZNAE0XkSn9X2bbyKIH0HhUuaAE1K4tSyfRU1Q3H8xaAzbwgTYEb0M-JapJMC5zRT-MIHDyaX4GIYQx2Z_N2Ex9QP-xwa820BIvDqbVdzADBeYgEiZTeQM6RBJCtBvVBkI/s320/Thor+in+snow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">What struck me was that most humans tend to not shake off what bothers them very easily. We tend to carry the struggles that have accumulated in our lives as if they are badges of honor rather than letting them go once they've passed. I suppose holding memories may not necessarily</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"> be harmful, but if we stay focused on how we have been victimized, or hurt or suffered in some way, we prolong the hurt and suffering, like opening up an old wound over and over again. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If we tended to shake off whatever accumulates in our lives, like Thor shakes off the snow, it seems we would find ourselves walking a more comfortable path that would keep us focused on appreciating where we are in the present moment and looking forward to where we're headed. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">An amusing ending to this story is when we returned home and I walked passed a mirror, I noticed two inches of snow accumulated on top of my hat. Perhaps if I was more aware, I would have shaken it off earlier. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-56106253422941460812012-12-22T11:19:00.000-05:002012-12-22T11:28:23.448-05:00The Enemy of Peace<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The older I become, the more committed I am to living in a state of peace. By peace, I mean <i>inner peace,</i> since I have little to no control over the war and chaos that is present around me.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Perhaps my growing commitment is due to the realization that I don't have an endless amount of time to get my life on track and to live and feel the way I choose, which is peacefully and joyfully. At any rate, I am not willing to delay living in peace, waiting for chaos around me to cease.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When I watch the news and see the exploitation of the weak and innocent, the insanity of wars between countries over borders and the violence that occurs everywhere, I am reminded how fragile we all are living in this world. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I read about innocent people gunned down in shopping malls and schools. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I hear accounts of illness, accidents and debilitating injuries that occur daily, affecting countless people of all ages. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There are plane and car crashes, oil spills, forest fires, hurricanes and tornadoes that dramatically change lives in an instant. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">With all of the potential calamities and disasters </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">that can possibly occur in our lifetimes, it may seem impossible to experience inner peace. After all, we're human. The enemy of peace, which is fear, seems normal and is simply a natural part of life. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I believe peace is what is actually natural. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Although my view may not be shared by everyone, I refuse to get caught up in mini wars in my own life, knowing that many of the potential battles that exist will not bring me peace in the end. I can still be in peace even if you disagree. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There is a simple habit I have developed that keeps me in a peaceful state (at least, most of the time), and that is to remember to stay in the present moment, rather than fast forward my mind to the future, where fears can grow at warp speed and my peace can evaporate at the same pace. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Since there are no guarantees in this life that we will live out our years here on earth, unharmed and intact, accepting the possibilities, without dwelling on them is the first step. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If we are living our lives in a state of gratitude and appreciation for the simple things, like being able to go to our refrigerator and reach for a drink or food whenever we want it, makes that moment feel different than it would if we were worrying about how high food prices will be the next time we shop. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Fear changes nothing for the better. In contrast, it robs us of peace right now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If you are wondering at this point, how one can live in peace when the unthinkable actually does happen, my response is simple. . . accept, rather than resist whatever it may be. Of course, if there is something you can do to change any negative event, get into action, do it and fast. If, however, you cannot change the circumstances, then the only alternative is to accept it. Accept that it has happened as well as how you feel. Resisting the truth of "what is" (including possibly your own grief), only delays peace. Allowing life to continue to flow also allows you to be at peace with whatever "is" in any given moment. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In one of my keynotes, <i>The Art of Joyful Living, </i>I emphasize how any new skill or art takes practice. I encourage anyone that finds the concept of living in a peaceful state of mind (regardless of circumstances), appealing, to notice what you think about most of the time.....your current situation, or the fear of what may possibly happen at some point in the future. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Since you only truly have this moment, NOW, I encourage you to step into it, feel it, and enjoy the peace that is always waiting for you there. Eventually, with practice, fear will eventually loosen it's grip, allowing peace to simply <i>be</i>. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-13142326463959915962012-10-07T18:20:00.000-04:002012-12-17T12:23:17.556-05:00The Joy of Being Sixty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Princess of Joyful Leadership</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Today is my 60th birthday and I must say it has been painless. . . in fact, contrary to a general social consensus that joy is only for the young, the start of my seventh decade of life has been a fun ride so far and I fully intend to allow that to continue. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Those that know me well, will not be surprised. I get teased regularly about my positive outlook on life, even when things look grim. Sometimes, I am accused of burying my head in the sand, since to my accusers, it seems impossible to be joyful when there are so many things occurring in today's world that should make me angry and fearful. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Some believe I never feel sad, scared or anxious. None of those things are true either. I do. I just don't linger there longer than I need to. I meet my feelings (whatever they are) with curiosity and take a close look at the fears that lurk under any negative feelings. Once I look, I am reminded that I can meet whatever shows up. There is nothing that has occurred in my life thus far that I have not survived. That little nugget is true for all of us. We are still here, so we survived. The road we traveled to this present point in time can be filled with drama, resistance, blame and anger, or it can be lined with love, appreciation, acceptance and compassion. I generally spend most of my time on the latter road. It feels better to travel there and I am actually in better shape to effectively meet whatever challenge or obstacle that shows up when I don't get hooked by the negative elements surrounding it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This momentous, decade changing birthday is an opportunity to renew the commitment to myself to enjoy every day, unconditionally. The unconditional part can be a sticky point, but it is imperative in living a joyful life, remembering that peace is the flip side of the joy coin, and finding peace with whatever shows up is a must. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Who knows how many hours, days or years are left for any of us? I, for one, am not willing to waste any time on living any of it on complaining, hating, resisting, judging or lamenting any difficulties that come my way. I have dabbled in those experiences in earlier decades and have not found them to be effective in making anything better, and they certainly don't create joy. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The commitment I make to myself on this momentous day is to be grateful for every day, to express love rather than disappointment, to enjoy what is, rather than complain about what isn't, to stand for the good I believe in, rather than hate the bad that threatens it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, I say bring it on, Sixth Decade....I'm ready! You will not change my <i>mind</i> since it is my <i>thoughts</i> that are the only things over which I have control. </span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-52951511508811718892012-03-26T15:44:00.000-04:002012-03-26T15:44:55.070-04:00Constitutional Conversations<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As I listened to the NPR news this morning, the headline story was about the Supreme Court beginning it's arguments on the sweeping health care law. Although I have strong opinions about health care, what really caught my attention was the word <i>arguments. </i> </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When I hear the word <i>argument, </i>I picture two or more people, red-faced with pumping fists, speaking with loud voices, attempting to prove their point and not listening to the others. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It seems to me that if the Supreme court Justices were expected to have a Constitutional conversation where they can listen, share and eventually collaborate, would make it much more likely that the best and just decision could be made. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Arguing humans are not usually at their best. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When we argue, we're afraid of being misunderstood, overlooked, misused or abused. The key emotion that can be present here is fear. When we are afraid, we are defensive and sometimes even feel the need to attack. Our words and actions don't always make sense, but that doesn't matter if our need to be right is what we're fighting for. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When we argue our need to win or be right seems to outshine the need to be fair or just.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On the other hand, when a <i>conversation </i>is taking place, all parties are more likely to not be in a defensive mode. Openness to hearing all of the facts, being fair, respectful and collaborative are qualities that can be seen when one is not in the state of fear that arguments can create. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The bottom line on this topic is that it seems our government and society is set up to argue, debate and fight to get it's way. The side with the largest number of supporters wins. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Unfortunately, as this mode of fearful exchanges continue within our society (including our elected officials), we miss the opportunity to really understand what our opponents are saying or to be truly heard ourselves. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The end result of most arguments is that no one wins. </span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-82763741857889514732012-03-06T12:20:00.000-05:002012-03-06T12:20:49.629-05:00The Attitude Closet<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In the gap of time between slumber and becoming fully conscious this morning, a picture floated through my mind. It was of a closet that contained attitudes. I pictured myself opening a door, and seeing attitudes in the form of cloaks hanging on hangers. Since my day was about to begin, it was time to choose an attitude I would want to wear for the next sixteen hours or so.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The choices for attitudes included, optimism, fear, joy, revenge, gratitude, and love. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">With the zeal of an energetic shopper looking for the best deal, my first choice to try on was optimism. It felt good to be wrapped in optimism. I felt safe and hopeful, believing good things would be happening to me if I chose it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The cloak of fear was intriguing, so I reached out to feel the fabric. It was sticky, much like tar, which gave me concern that I might not be able to get it off if I tried it on. Thankfully, I had a choice, so I continued to shop for an attitude that would be comfortable to wear all day.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The attitude of joy sparkled, making it very appealing. It seemed to have a life of it's own since it swayed on the hanger. When I tried on the cloak of joy, I automatically began to dance. The longer I wore it, the more joy I felt. Reluctantly, I put it back to try something else.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Next, I tried on revenge, mainly because it intrigued me. There was a mystique about it, as if it was promising something sweet. On closer inspection, this was a dark cloak that felt prickly, like steel wool without a lining. It was also extra large so it wrapped around my body twice, keeping my arms trapped underneath. My mobility was limited. I couldn't wait to take it off. It was obvious that revenge restricted me from freedom and wasn't comfortable to wear. Since I prefer to be comfortable and to feel good, I continued my search.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My next choice was the attitude of loving. This one felt weightless. As I looked closely, I could see this version was lined with joy and had pockets made of gratitude. I was able to move easily, without tripping over it as I glided along the floor of my mind. I felt free and at my best. It was a good fit for me. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There was no need to search any further. I chose the attitude of love and must say it fits me well. So far, it has been a lovely day wearing love. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What attitude have you chosen? How does it feel? If it isn't comfortable, you may want to take it back. I understand the Closet of Attitude will take returns and does exchanges with no questions asked. </span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-437563408498467472011-12-25T22:34:00.006-05:002011-12-26T06:58:56.569-05:00It's A Wonderful Life if I Believe It Is<div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">Christmas day 2011 is closing in on the finish line and has certainly been a full day. After a lovely time of celebration with friends and family, my husband and I watched the classic movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and it has stirred up some inspiration for me. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">I imagine most readers of this post have seen the movie many times, but for those that have not, here's the gist: The story is about a talented and likable young man, George Bailey, that due to various circumstances, let go of his dreams to go to college and then travel the world building sky scrapers and doing other exciting things, to manage the family business in his small town. After years of hard work, he found himself in a desperate financial situation that caused him to consider taking his own life. Thankfully, his guardian angel, who just so happened to be in need of earning his wings, showed up on the scene and gave him the opportunity to see what his community and those he loved would be like if he had never been born. As you can imagine, it was an eye opener for him, showing clearly that he truly had a wonderful life even though his original dreams were not realized. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">I imagine this movie became a classic since it speaks to the viewer's heart. We all want to have a wonderful life and sometimes our plans to do so don't work out, which can trick us into thinking we failed. As I thought about the situation George faced in the movie, I saw a man that had many gifts to share and even though his original plan did not work out, he definitely had a very powerful impact on countless people and had much to appreciate. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">We may never know the totality of our impact, yet I strongly believe that each of us have touched someone, somewhere in some way and if we had never been born, our presence on earth would surely be missed. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">So how do you have a <i>wonderful life </i>when your experience of life is not going like you hoped or planned? Do you have to change someone else's life for the better in order to have a <i>wonderful life? </i>Do you have to create or stimulate phenomenal things to have a <i>wonderful life</i>? For me, the answers come from a simple belief, and that is <i>life is wonderful if we believe it is. </i></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">The message I get from this film is that we all have access to living a <i>wonderful life</i>. The way to see and feel the wonderful-ness is by being aware, open and grateful for all of the simple little things we take for granted and to be open to shifting gears when things don't go as planned. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">It is by being engaged fully in our relationships with those people that we see and talk to everyday as well as the strangers we meet. It is about accepting "what is" when change is not possible and stimulating change when it is. A wonderful life comes when we appreciate more than we complain and by pausing long enough to know when we are doing either. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">Life feels wonderful when we cease to beat ourselves up for our missed opportunities, dreams and goals and when we can trade in our fear of failure for a hunger to live as fully as possible.</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">I believe this formula is one anyone can follow. It's simple and non-discrimnatory. Live from your heart, meaning make choices that simply feel "right" for you in the moment. Be kind to yourself and to others as you travel your path. Don't look over your shoulder or far into the future, but be present in the current moment, since that is all that really exists. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">Although I don't anticipate a visit from my guardian angel who will give me the experience of seeing what the world would be like if I did not exist, I believe I am on the right track... not because of huge accomplishments, but because I am thoroughly enjoying the process of life. It simply feels "right" and in my <i>movie of life</i> feeling "right" means <i>wonderful. </i></span></div><div style="color: #783f11; font: 16.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;"><i><br />
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</i></span></div>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-15357388925571234022011-11-13T19:59:00.001-05:002011-11-14T06:58:58.668-05:00Your Secret Weapon. . .Use it Wisely<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We each have a secret weapon and I urge you to use yours wisely. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The weapon? It is your impact. You </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">are always having an impact. . . all of the time, without exception. It may create a positive or negative response in any given moment, but your power to have an impact is always present.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When we interact with others, even if we don't speak, we are having an impact. If we pass someone on the street, we have an impact. When we answer the telephone, we have an impact. When we ride public transportation or go to a movie, or walk our dogs, we are having an impact.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The opportunity list for impact can go on and on, but I think you get the picture. As human beings, sharing this planet and all of it's resources, our individual impact can have an effect on our fellow humans, animals and even our environment. Being wise about how we use our impact could make for a more pleasant experience of life for yourself and others. Being aware of impact can also protect you from adverse reactions from others. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Since wherever we go, whatever we do, we are having an impact, it makes sense to be aware of the power we each wield. In light of that fact, it seems like a noteworthy phenomena to hold in our awareness. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sometimes our impact may be intentional, such as smiling at someone or saying hello. In that case, we intended to be friendly, which would be an intended <i>positive</i> impact. Other times our impact may be unintentional such as when we are deep in thought and don't acknowledge a greeting from someone else. At times like this, we might think we're invisible and our frown belongs to us and has no impact on anyone else, but it does. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We may also <i>choose</i> to have a <i>negative</i> impact, which would fall into the intentional category. An example of an intended <i>negative</i> impact may be yelling an obscenity at a fellow driver that just cut you off. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As I observe and interact with many people every day, I frequently notice impact and find that most often, the negative impact many people have goes unnoticed by the person responsible for creating it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A recent example was noted on facebook. As I scrolled through posts on my page, I came across one that was in stark contrast to most of the postings I typically see from my friends, which are usually intended to be positive. This one was obviously written in anger and contained profanity laced throughout a ranting complaint about an unnamed individual. The purpose of the post was puzzling to me since the person about whom the complaint was made was not on the receiving end, but innocent readers as myself were being hit with it. I am quite sure, the author did not intend to offend me or others, thus this post fell into the unintended impact category. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Since unintended impact can be a common experience in our human experience, I urge you to be aware of what you intend, and then act accordingly. Do you really want to offend, insult or ignore those you care about, or even the stranger you are sitting next to on a flight across the country? How does it feel when you become aware of your impact? What is the impact you want to have in your everyday life? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If you are on the receiving end of an intended or unintended negative impact, I urge you to look beyond the words, actions or email and be curious what may have been present in the person that created the impact. When we can look a bit more deeply, what we will usually find is someone that is afraid and feeling vulnerable. When I see vulnerability in another person, I can find compassion and when that happens I am no longer offended by the negative impact my counterpart created. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I believe we are all doing our best with what is on our plate of life at the present time. Unfortunately, sometimes we forget that we are all connected. Our pain or our joy is not a private experience. It leaks. It leaks out and affects others. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I encourage you to be aware of your impact. When you are feeling off balance, angry or upset, be extra aware that your negative feelings may be leaking and affecting others. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If it is your intent to create a positive impact most of the time, I encourage you to take excellent care of yourself since when you feel good, you are most likely going to be having an impact that is of equal value. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Bottom line...stay awake....clean up the messes your negative impact may have caused and remember those that affected you in a negative way may not have even known they even fired their weapon.</span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-55880897184574444652011-10-30T11:21:00.000-04:002011-10-30T11:21:39.159-04:00Watch Yourself<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When I am especially tuned in and present, I sometimes notice the still small voice within me, say "Watch yourself". I don't take this as a cautionary warning that I may be harmed or may harm someone or something else, but accept the message as words of encouragement to stay awake and find things to appreciate. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In the years since I have made it my intention to live my life in a state of awareness, I have come to learn that the more in-tune I am to what my thoughts are, the more control I have in steering myself in a direction of thought that feels good. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Many people will argue that last statement, defending that their status of happiness is not fully in their control. Believing you are a helpless victim of life is not likely to be pleasant. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My suggestion to those that find themselves drowning in a sea of scary thoughts, is to look at one thought at a time. Be curious about it. . . where did it come from? Are you focusing on beliefs that others have taught you? Are you replaying news clips from Fox news? Is it simply easier to think the same frightening thoughts since that is what you've always done?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">The good news is once you are committed to watching yourself, you may be surprised to find you do indeed have control over what you think</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">. Remembering you are the creator of your thoughts and therefore your experience of life (no matter what is happening around you) is a gift we each have every day. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So <i>watch yourself </i>and see how it feels. </span></span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-10214906545777661432011-10-01T18:53:00.002-04:002011-10-01T19:06:29.510-04:00Like it or Not....It's Fall<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaM-rg3JpOW2epeIG8_ev8J6zaK-8a2FZF9XWMOZvu4BK8B6mg3cvjJ0vo8lNGMt7jP8DVppLqfKRPTz7rxvftNHuSF61m5SomnN6p91yrpJlimgtxjptu9JtZbqQV8EC2TgRRDAz_0ciW/s1600/Fall+Porch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaM-rg3JpOW2epeIG8_ev8J6zaK-8a2FZF9XWMOZvu4BK8B6mg3cvjJ0vo8lNGMt7jP8DVppLqfKRPTz7rxvftNHuSF61m5SomnN6p91yrpJlimgtxjptu9JtZbqQV8EC2TgRRDAz_0ciW/s320/Fall+Porch.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Every year once the weather begins to cool, I notice many of my friends and acquaintances begin to complain about the disappearance of summer and lament the beginning of Fall. I don't think they really dislike Fall, it's just that they equate Fall with winter coming fast behind. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">For many years, I would quietly enjoy the break of the heat and humidity and feel myself become more alive as the temperature drops, afraid to voice my preference since the summer lovers might be offended. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">These summer lover friends (you know who you are) need more than the average dose of sunshine. They don't seem to mind sweating or sleeping without a fluffy comforter on their bed. These friends of mine prefer sandals over socks and loafers, prefer shorts to corduroy and don't like their arms or necks covered. In addition, they prefer cold drinks to warm, choose to grill chicken on charcoal over making chicken soup, and dream about sitting ocean side in the relentless beating sun rather than wearing a soft cotton turtle neck and jeans while kicking dry leaves on the forest trails. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The perfect day in my book of life consists of a temperature in the high fifties or low sixties, sunny skies, fluffy clouds. crisp feel in the air, leaves turning colors and the smell of apples. I love it when it's cool to cold outside, while warm inside. I love having the fireplace burn as I read a great book, tucked under a fleece blanket and a cup of green tea within arms reach. I love sleeping without need of a fan blowing directly on me. I love having the energy to walk an extra two miles rather than being hot and melting after a humid trek requiring hydration every half mile. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">To me, Fall means homey time. It's nest making time. It's soup simmering and cookie baking time. I'm most creative when the weather gets cooler. I enjoy hugging more when it's cool (for many reasons I won't go into here). </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Although every year at this time, I find myself keeping my desires and loves to myself so as not to offend or seem uncaring when my summer-loving friends are suffering, this year, I am speaking out. Yes, I am openly claiming my love for Fall. I don't fear winter. It's coming whether I want it to or not. I will not let my dislike for driving on icy, snowy roads intercept my joy and enjoyment of Fall. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am not afraid to be heard and counted as I boldly stand in a state of complete enjoyment of all that is cool, crisp and rust colored. Perhaps it is simply accepting and fully enjoying <i>what is, </i>or maybe it's because I have a birthday and anniversary this month. Whatever the reasons, I will no longer just smile and nod with an appearance of being understanding as I hear summer lovers complain. I will smile and maybe even laugh as I enjoy what is <i><b>now</b></i>. </span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-60078988464572423202011-09-11T16:58:00.000-04:002011-09-11T16:58:25.039-04:00Getting Rid of the Dead Heads<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am not much of a gardener. . .In fact if the flowers I joyfully plant in the spring actually live to see (and be killed by) the first autumn frost, they're lucky. My husband calls me a plant murderer. I think that's harsh, since I don't willfully intend to kill, I just seem to lose interest after I plant, feed and water my lovelies for the first few weeks. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This year, however, I discovered something I enjoyed about gardening, and that is getting rid of <i>dead heads</i> which you probably know are the flowers on a plant that have shriveled and died. Pinching off these dead blooms apparently stimulates new life to grow and sustains a healthy beautiful plant for a longer period (at least that's what my gardener friends tell me). Since my window box is right next to my back door, it was very convenient to pause for a moment as I entered or exited to pinch off a few <i>dead heads</i>. As a result, the petunias this year were especially prolific and beautiful. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">One day as I was seeking out dead heads that were ready to be removed, I began to make a comparison of my petunia plants to my life. It may seem like a stretch of an analogy, but stay with me. . .here's what I came up with: </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sometimes what I once considered to be an appealing component of my life ceases to have that attractive appeal. If I don't pluck it from my routine, it can end up draining my energy, keeping me from flowering and enjoying life in a more beautiful way. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A good example of this phenomena for me are various forms of exercise I have tried over the years. I have lost track of the fitness DVDS and their ancestors in the form of VHS </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">tapes, that I have purchased and diligently worked out to as part of my daily routine. Eventually I lose interest and notice it's no longer fun. The disappearance of the fun factor for me usually means it is time to pluck this particular <i>dead head</i> from my life. Once I do that I am renewed and ready to put my attention to something else that feels better. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have also removed <i>dead head</i> relationships that no longer seemed to serve me or the other person in a positive way. Terminating or moving on from a relationship does not minimize the impact that it may have once had, it is simply recognizing that people, their schedules and their lives change so what once felt perfect, now feels strained. Since I only choose to be in relationships that I can be fully committed and engaged, I have a limit. Pinching off what no longer has life, creates space for more stimulating and enjoyable interactions, which is always life giving. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If you can align with my gardening <i>dead head</i> analogy, I encourage you to evaluate your life. Notice where you put your attention and then ask yourself if it is enhancing your flower box of life, or simply using your energy with nothing beautiful to show for it. </span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-79345297527528581212011-08-24T15:20:00.001-04:002011-08-24T15:30:45.708-04:00The Good Life<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My dog, Thor lives a good life. In fact, I'm sure he has it better than many humans I know. I'm not sure how good his life was before we picked him up at the SPCA two years ago, but without question, he knows how to live well now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I think humans can learn a lot from animals. They seem to have the right idea about living well and maintaining a fairly peaceful and happy attitude about life. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Here's some lessons I have learned from Thor:</span><br />
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<ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If you want attention, let someone know. Don't take no for an answer. If they refuse to compliment you, rub you where it feels good, or at least smile, persist with being cute until they cave in and give you what you want.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Take naps. Your naps don't have to be long ones, but it is imperative you take frequent rests so you can have the energy to exercise later. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Walk or run daily and enjoy being out in the fresh air. Sniff the air often too. You never know what wonderful scents may be in your vicinity. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Be playful....even if you think you're too old. Remember there is always the spirit of a child (or puppy) within. Give your inner child the opportunity to be silly and playful. You can't help but giggle when you're playful. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Just be you....without apology. Thor knows who he is and apparently has nothing to hide. Either you like him, or you don't. I think that's why he's so happy. He doesn't spend any time trying to act like a poodle or a Great Dane....He just enjoys being himself.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Stop eating when you're full. (This one needs no explanation)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Receive affection when it's offered. Thor loves to be loved. Sometimes people don't think they deserve it, which is really a shame, since it feels so good to be loved. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Don't hold grudges. Forgive regularly. This is something Thor does well. If he gets upset with me for not throwing his toy, he doesn't hold it against me for days. He just tries again later and forgives me in the moment. He also seems to forgive himself if he happened to do something naughty like steal meat from the counter or get into the garbage. </span></li>
</ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If I ever temporarily forget I am living a <i>good life</i>, I just look at Thor and remember that my experience of life depends on how I see it and how I see myself. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-19911257749001219872011-08-03T18:52:00.000-04:002011-08-03T18:52:13.500-04:00Bear in Mind<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Living in a small, rural town I am reminded on a regular basis of the special experiences that are available naturally. . .that is if you're paying attention. Today was a great day for incoming inspiration. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">First of all, my husband experienced a bear sighting on his walk to work. At 6:15 this morning he took a short cut down a hill that intersects two streets, one of which that leads to the woods. As he walked the route that he has covered countless mornings, he became aware of an unusual sound to his left. Instead of continuing his trek, he stopped and saw a bear dragging a garbage bag up the hill, probably going home with breakfast for the family. Based on the story of <i>The Three Bears, </i>he told me this one probably represented the size of momma Bear. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">He considered himself very fortunate to be able to witness this wild animal in an act natural for it, but not usual for him. He related that it took about ten minutes for the bear to manage to get the garbage bag un-snagged from trees and brush until it reached an open space to the finish line. Although we occasionally see bears living in the mountains of Pennsylvania, this observation was a special treat. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I also had my own little glimpse of nature. After returning home from my daily walk, I was going through a variety of stretching exercises on my living room floor. As I relaxed into a back bend, I notice a bird, perched on a branch leaning against the window. It caught my attention, so I took a closer look and noticed it was standing over a nest and was feeding two babies. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What is interesting to me is this nest, momma, and babies have been within easy sight for sometime, but I didn't see them. I'm not sure where my mind was, but apparently it was not on my immediate surroundings. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Although I was grateful that I was tuned in today, as was my husband, I wondered how many things that escape our attention each day that are potential sources of unique delight and wonder. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am reminded to not allow myself to always be caught up in thought of what is next on my to-do list. I am reminded to breathe and to stay present to what is around me. I am reminded to <i>bear in mind</i> that I am always surrounded by things of nature and people that deserve my attention. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am reminded that if I am not paying attention, I may miss a priceless opportunity to enjoy what is right before me. </span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-71168846002579070822011-08-01T15:12:00.001-04:002011-08-01T15:41:38.782-04:00Trust Fall<div style="font-family: Cambria, Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Cambria, Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">An old, dusty dream of mine was awakened after a thirty-five year nap. The dream was born when I was eighteen years old, soon after I graduated from high school. It appeared at a time when I realized I wanted to live an adventuresome life rather than an ordinary one. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As I brainstormed experiences (which were essentially a Bucket List, long before that term became popular), skydiving was high on my list. In spite of my having a great fear of danger, and in fact, even hesitant to ride on a roller coaster at an amusement park, I still longed to have thrilling experiences in life. I'm not sure why or how, but something deep within my heart seemed to know my childish fears would some day disappear and I would meet this dream. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Although the desire to skydive originally came from the source of a young woman’s thrill-seeking adventure, when it popped back into my consciousness a few years ago, there was a different source stimulating the desire. At that point in my life, well established in middle age, minus many of those old fears, and quite open to new challenging experiences, a skydive epitomized the opportunity and actually the challenge to feel complete trust. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I realized what I needed was to experience surrender in my body and especially my spirit, trusting all is well, no matter how a situation may seem and no matter what the outcome may be. To me, this feeling of totally letting go, leaping into space and being at peace unconditionally, regardless of the outcome, was going to be my teacher. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I also knew my trust fall would be an opportunity to experience complete peace, even when in the face of potential danger or harm. I longed to feel safe as if in the palm of God's hand, no matter where I was or what I happened to be doing. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">With so many elements of trust blending together, this skydive was intended to be a life changing experience. The intended change in my life would be to feel peace rather than fear, no matter what I happened to be facing. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On a sunny, breezy Sunday morning in June, after prior research for a competently run skydive center, I showed up at OZ Homestay in northern Pennsylvania to finally live out this dream. After signing the waivers and learning what was required of me, to complete my free fall, I was ready. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Prior to boarding the plane, I noticed I was feeling unusually calm and present. A feeling of complete peace filled me as the plane took off and climbed to an altitude of 10,000 feet. After about 20 minutes and reaching the optimal altitude, I received instruction to prepare for the jump. I followed the rehearsed routine of making my way to the open door and positioned myself at the edge of the plane with my legs dangling in the air. As I looked down there was no sign of earth beneath me. There was nothing to hold me up, yet I was not in fear and trusted all was well. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I will never forget the feeling of surrender when I physically let go of the wing and fell away from the plane. In spite of being battered by wind during my explosive descent,the paradoxical feelings of calm and exhilaration filled me. Once the parachute opened, the free fall rush at 120 miles an hour shifted to quiet peace around me, matching what I felt within. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Once I softly landed on the ground, I knew I had changed. My physical experience of complete surrender and trust rather than fear-based attempts of control, showed me this was possible in anything I choose to do . . . even when both feet are firmly planted on the ground. </span></div><div style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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</div>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-23626486262556435672011-07-31T19:18:00.001-04:002011-07-31T19:22:47.225-04:00Peace Without Apology<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I periodically notice some people exhibiting signs of annoyance with me, and in some cases, even agitation, when I choose not to join the band wagon of complaints, worry and attack of a perceived enemy in reaction to local and world events. It seems, my positive attitude and approach can be disturbing to others that choose a different path. Although I notice the reaction of some of my friends, I will not apologize for being at peace. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thankfully, how we each deal with the issues of <i>life</i> is a personal choice. My preference is to stay aligned with joy and sustain peace "within" regardless of what may be showing up in the "outside" world. When I have been hooked by anger and then acted out with righteous indignation (even in cases when it appeared I was victimized) my negative emotions never improved the situation in question. What is especially true is that acting out in anger has never....repeat... NEVER made me feel better. I understand some of my fellow humans are convinced that their anger spurs them on to correct a wrong...to set things right, and that vindication and revenge feels good. Perhaps that is true for them. I just don't choose to roll like that. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What I find to be a particularly interesting comparison is that I may even choose to take the same steps that those on the fist pumping side of the line may take when an injustice occurs. I make phone calls, write emails and sign petitions to inform my elected officials of what I believe, although what I say in a letter may differ from others. I don't sugar coat situations, but I avoid attacks. I write letters to the editor in support of that which I want to see more of, rather than complain about what should stop. I donate money to causes that support peace rather than destruction. I read articles that support peaceful solutions that are in alignment with my beliefs, rather than feed myself with more news and reports that stimulate hateful actions. Although many of us may take the same stand and in some cases even actions, how we feel in the process of creating change can vary greatly. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Although I understand when people get hooked by an issue many are looking for others to join in the fight believing there is power in numbers, I am very careful with whom I will stand. Watching how the political parties work in our country are a great example of how fear is used to create a movement against the enemy (enemies vary depending on the issue). Bottom line...I resist jumping on a wagon that is destined for perpetrating a movement fueled by fear. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What I have trained myself to do instead, is to keep my intention on creating a positive outcome. Rather than keeping my focus on battling a wrong, I simply keep my vision on what I want to see created instead. I have heard the story that Mother Teresa was once asked to march in an anti-war rally. She informed the activist inviting her that she would not rally <u><i>against</i> </u>war, but she would be happy to rally <i><u>for</u></i> peace. This simple statement has been a tremendous inspiration for the way I choose to live.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So which perspective is most productive in the end? The good news is we each get to decide. I will continue to choose a peaceful response since</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I know my creativity in problem solving, my effectiveness to create positive change and my ability to encourage others to show up at their best occurs when I stand in the light not the dark. </span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-38635126149586610692011-06-29T14:19:00.002-04:002011-06-29T14:26:44.703-04:00Peaceful Smile with Wings<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Earlier today when I returned home from my early morning Yoga class, I discovered a bird in perfect condition, lying dead in my driveway. It had a surreal appearance that caused me to stand and stare at this little form for several minutes. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">From my giant-like perspective, I could see it's eyes</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> were closed, feathers unruffled, beak slightly parted. If birds could smile, I think the look on it's face would have definitely qualified. At first I tried to figure out how this little creature met it's demise. There were no physical signs of fowl play. None of the neighborhood cats were anywhere in the vicinity, high fiving each other for taking this sparrow down. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It appeared to be a death due to natural causes. Maybe it was a heart attack, or old age. Since there was not a tree branch, which could have been a perch, hanging over this death scene, the cause will always be a mystery. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As I mourned the death of this little creature, wondering if members of it's family were nearby planning a little bird memorial service, I was reminded how natural death is. When I moved beyond my own sadness for the bird's relatives and friends, I realized the deceased bird was at peace. There was no suffering, no resistance. . .only peace. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I then decided to create a little funeral. I prepared a grave under the Mulberry tree and gently scooped the bird with a trowel and placed it in it's grave. As I said a little prayer, birds swooped overhead. I'd like to believe they were paying their respects. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When this unexpected experience was complete, I went inside feeling very peaceful. It reminded me that when it comes time for me to leave this world, I also hope to have a peaceful smile and wings. </span><br />
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</span>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-85415850755993683712011-06-22T09:40:00.005-04:002011-06-22T13:09:41.927-04:00Intuition Over-ride<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I have been working on developing my intuition for some time. You know, that small inner voice that always knows what's best for you. I consider my intuition to be God talking to me. Of course God wants the best for me so I often pause and check in with this inner guidance to keep myself on the right track. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">My intuition guides me in many ways such as business decisions, what to eat, what form of exercise is best for my body today, what book I should read, whether or not I should take a short cut while driving through town or if I should purchase that leather bag I saw on sale. In essence, my intuition takes care of me and keeps my life running smoothly....that is, if I don't over-ride it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Since I practice listening and sometimes even asking for guidance much of the time, messages come through frequently for little things as well as the big things in life. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Last evening, while cleaning up after a dinner party, I was attempting to store my crock pot on a high shelf. My intuition gave me a gentle warning to remove the lid first, since it could fall off. I over rode that warning. While on tippy toes with arms fully extended to reach the shelf, and with my face turned upward, the lid slipped off and clipped me just beneath my right eyebrow. As the blood ran down my face, my first thought was "I should have listened". My second thought was. . . "This eye is going to be a great reminder of this lesson every time I look in the mirror for the next week". </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Perhaps I needed a black eye to hone in this lesson on listening. I will be reminded to slow down and be present. I will be reminded to not cut corners, but to do things with "smartness" rather than "flippedness". I will be reminded that I always get another chance. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Right now, my intuition is telling me this post is complete and to apply an ice pack to my right eye. I will now do as I am guided. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#663300;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6901946220910221447.post-68138802763586916862011-05-09T08:45:00.007-04:002011-06-27T16:38:58.438-04:00Good Intention.....Gone Bad<div><br />
</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Over the years, I have found a way to be in relationship with friends, family and even strangers, that allows for ease and comfort in communicating. . .both for myself and for anyone I may be with in the moment. My usual impact tends to be positive, so I was caught off guard when my</span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"> good</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"> intention went </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">bad</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"><br />
</span> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">I realize that all I could do at the time was apologize, which I did, and now I am taking the opportunity to gather up some learning from my experience to minimize the likelihood of repeating my well intentioned boo boo with some other unsuspecting person in the future.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"><br />
</span> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">As in most occurrences I observe in my life, there is learning that transcends a particular set of circumstances and can be applied to other areas and relationships. In this case, at least for me, I am being reminded to think before I act....or speak. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"><br />
</span> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">So here's my lesson... use as indicated in your life if you have ever made the same mistake: </span></span></span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Even though you have expertise, knowledge, coupled with confidence, do not offer it without checking to see if the other person desires to hear what you have to say</span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Do not give advice, unless asked</span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Do not invade another person's personal space, even though you would be comfortable if they were in yours</span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Listen and respond accordingly</span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Do not assume people know your intention; they may be very vulnerable and susceptible to being offended or hurt, regardless of what you say or do</span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">Remember that everyone is having their own experience of life and it is always wise to assume that they are competent and able to seek help if they desire it</span></span></span></li>
</ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">I am grateful for the reminders of this lesson and regret that someone else had to pay the price for my temporary lapse of memory. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"><br />
</span> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;">As I gently forgive myself, I move on, not with fear that I may offend again, but with a gentler and deeper awareness that life is a dance. At times I may step on my partner-in-the moment's toes, yet know that if I am mindful and aware in the moment, my impact will be one of greater sensitivity and will guide me to behave in a way so that my intention will match my impact. </span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04;"><br />
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</span></span></div>Kate Sholonski (moderator)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08758520916017602919noreply@blogger.com2