The YIKES Factor

As we go through life there are occasional experiences that show up on our path that challenge us to grow and expand. These experiences typically feel very uncomfortable and can be pretty scary. What they can create for us is what I call the YIKES Factor.

A typical YIKES Factor situation may be one that calls us forth to play a bigger game. There is usually risk involved. We may risk what we perceive to be our reputation, money, being hurt, or our confidence.

The YIKES Factor may also be present when others believe in us more than we believe in ourselves. We are encouraged or invited to do something new and we are not strongly believing we have what it takes to be successful. We may also fear letting someone else down.

The YIKES Factor can also come into play when life hands us some big challenges. These challenges may be related to health problems, relationships or money issues. The list of potential YIKES Factor experiences are endless.

Although fear is typically present when a YIKES related experience shows up, there can also be twinges of excitement. It is kind of like standing in line to go on an extreme ride at an amusement park. Part of you wants to do it and knows it will be fun and exciting, but there's a part of you that is scared. Once we get beyond the fear, we can really enjoy the ride.

So, how do we move beyond the fear, which is the true culprit of YIKES creation? I like to ask myself what is the worse thing that can happen? Once I go through that process, which usually turns out not to be as bad as I originally thought, I ask myself what may be gained by following through. I then ask myself which is better....to live life without risk and without excitement, learning and growing, or to take the ride, enjoy the thrill and know I will always learn something in my process?

After some self-training, I now pretty consistently look the YIKES Factor right in the eye. I have a different relationship with failure than I once had. It doesn't scare me as much anymore, so my desire to jump into the seat that opens up is much greater.

The truth is, you can't lose when you follow the call of YIKES. It is the stuff that makes life a joy to live.

HOPE

There is something simply beautiful about the word HOPE. It only has four letters, and they are even commonly used letters at that. It is a one syllable word, and is very easy to say. In spite of the simplicity and ease of the word, it holds a lot of power.

I'm a cancer survivor and also a volunteer for the American Cancer Society and ACS CAN. The word HOPE is a word used often and strongly when used in reference to cancer. Many would probably say it is HOPE that stimulates cures to be discovered, and that it reminds us all that it ain't over til it's over.

HOPE reminds us that the life deep within us cannot be harmed by anything outside of us. Diseases, difficult relationships, poverty or any other unwanted experiences are not as powerful as the HOPE that resides in our hearts.

HOPE is a direct connector to life. Hope reminds us to live fully, to trust and to allow whatever is needed to come to us. HOPE reminds us we need not resist or struggle, but to know all is well, even if the eventual outcome is not what we had in mind.

Many of us say we HOPE for the best, sometimes without knowing what exactly is best.

For me, believing that whatever "is" is just what is needed. I may not understand it, but I want to allow the strength of HOPE to carry me through whatever may be on my path.

For more information about the power HOPE holds for the ACS and if you would like to become a member of ACS CAN (only $10), contact your local ACS office. Your voice of hope for the availability of screenings for all, funding for research, and especially curative treatments, needs to be heard by your elected officials.

One person who has HOPE is very powerful. Many people with HOPE and a shared vision for a better, healthier world, can actually create it.

The Hidden Paths

A few days ago I came home and discovered two flagstone paths from my driveway and garage to the back door of my home were once again visible. Over the years, they became gradually grown over with sod. While I was away, my husband removed the sod, revealing two clear paths.

As I stood and looked at the long forgotten stone paths, I realized this is just what can happen in our lives as we get busy, often doing the things that do not necessarily bring us joy. Perhaps we were on a path long ago and somehow got distracted. As our attention got pulled to other things, we forgot the path we were on, or the path we were wanting to follow.

As the metaphorical sod grows, our dreams are no longer seen. If our dreams are not seen, the delight of living them out cannot be felt.

The grass did not cover these paths in a day. It was a long, slow gradual process. I had plenty of time to notice they were growing over, and if I had noticed I could have kept then clean and clear, but I didn't.

What I think about as I look at my now clear and clean flagstone paths is what dreams or desires have gotten "grown over" in my life with fears, doubts or a lack of faith.

I'm grateful for the once hidden paths to be open. They inspire me to stay awake in my life and not allow my dreams to be hidden in the same way.

The other interesting piece of this little story is that there are two paths. That means I always have more than one option. I wonder which one I will follow.

Playin' the Game

I'm not a big organized, competitive sports fan, but I do like the concept of play in living life. Earlier today, I was playing in my mind with sports terms as metaphors.

For instance, playing offense in LIFE would put you in the position of going for a score. You want to achieve your goals and are totally pumped to keep on plugging, no matter what kind of injuries or setbacks occur. You love to be on the field of LIFE whether you're running the distance or tripping up every few feet. It is the game that you love. Sure you may want to win, but you enjoy playing so much, that is what stimulates your desires in the first place.

If you play defense in LIFE, instead of going after your goals, you are always fighting off others. If you're defensive, then you are focused more on your competition than you are about your own focus. You know more about what's wrong about others than you know what's right about you.

If you're benched then you are out of the game. Maybe it seems safer to not take the chance to fail. Being benched is not a lot of fun because you just watch everybody else playing. It's likely any confidence you once had would be gradually going up in smoke since you're just sitting on the sidelines and not learning the ins, outs and new ways to play, that can only come with experience.

Sometimes you may call for Time Out. You need a break, a time to breathe, get refreshed and maybe talk to your coach (get it?......life coach) to be reminded about the way you want to play the game of life.

If you're a cheerleader you are so focused on helping others to win their game of LIFE, you never get to play. Sometimes parents focus more on cheer leading than playing in their own game of life, believing their sacrifice actually helps their child. My personal belief is the child better learns to play the game by watching their parents play full out. Besides, you can always cheer others while you're playing yourself.

The truth is we all probably jump from position to position on our game fields. My suggestion is to stay awake in the game, know where you are and pay attention to what learning comes with that position....then choose where you want to be.

I know this may not be true for all of you that read this post, but for me, winning is not the most important thing about the game.....I just want to have fun in the process.

GO_________________(fill the blank with your name)!!!

A Cheerful Warning

My new Yoga practice has been teasing me out of bed extra early three mornings a week. I meet my friends at 5:45 to carpool to class. Perhaps it's the reason for my early rising, or maybe it's just me, but I tend to naturally be pretty cheery at this early hour. I like mornings a lot (that is after my coffee). There is something really exciting about being up before the sun and then witnessing it's rising. Our drive to class heads east, so I can't help but be delighted by the show of colors painted on the skyline. It really tops off my "joy tank".

I know from past experience with some of my friends that I need to put a lid on my cheerful energy early in the day and let it seep out slowly so as not to disturb those that can't take it.

I believe I have been quite sensitive to those around me that are more subdued at an early hour and treat them respectfully with no loud laughter, restricted humorous banter and a more gentle way of interacting.

This morning, that is exactly how I was being with one friend that arrived to class before us, who is particularly not a "morning gal". I quietly said "Good morning, Coleen" and planted myself on the mat in front of her. At the completion of class, I felt even better than an hour earlier and when I stood up from my mat, I said something to her like, "So are you feeling more awake now?" When another non-morning loving friend heard me, she said "Leave her alone, you Cheer Bully".

Perhaps the comment was meant to shut me up, but that was not the impact. I cracked up with a good laugh, probably causing even more cheer damage than I normally do.

I'm afraid I can't help it. I can try not to talk so much and if I do my words can be quieter, but sometimes cheer or joy squirts out of me when I'm so full there's simply no room to store it.

So, if you can't take cheer early in the day, run the other way when you see me coming. I cannot promise to contain it.

Swallowed By The Sunset

My usual sunrise walking routine got bumped this morning due to an early morning speaking engagement. My day was very full, so exercise got put off until evening, making it a special event for me to close the day with a walk, rather than open it. I wondered how it would feel.

As I trekked off, the sun was still bright. My I pod was on shuffle ( I love surprises), and I was curious to see what was different in our little village at this hour.

I circled town and found it to be almost as quiet as the early morning. There was not too much traffic. Most shops were closed and the streets empty with the exception of an occasional jogger, bicyclist, and parents with babies in strollers. I often see joggers in the early morning hours, but never babies, so that was a perk for my change in routine.

I knew rehearsals for an upcoming show were going on, so I stopped in only to find the cast and director to be wrapping it up and going home. Rehearsals are never going on at 6:00 a.m, so that was different.

Next, I ran into a woman I had just happened to meet earlier today while getting my hair highlighted. We discovered we had a lot in common and I was pleased to see her out walking too. I walked her home on the far side of town and then went back to my evening discoveries.

As I walked the ridge heading west that leads back to my home, I looked down through the trees to see Main St. quietly closing up shop. There were fewer and fewer cars on the street, and more lights flickering from the houses on my path.

In the final stretch to my home, I looked ahead and was pleased to see a beautiful sunset. It struck me that it looked as if it was about to swallow the day, with me in it. There were only moments left of daylight, but enough time for me to be grateful for a full, but joy filled day before it took me in to rest. I don't mind being swallowed when I'm complete.

In the morning, the sunset grabs me and tickles me awake, so this experience was very different, but just as sweet. Good night.

Playground of the Mind

For many of us, the experience of life is one we take very seriously. Sometimes we believe if whatever it is we are facing is important, then it must mean we should hold it with complete seriousness. What I see happen with many people is that the joy and peace of life slips through the cracks of seriousness.

Can you imagine going through life and approaching any issue that shows up in a more playful way? For me, it is like having a playground in my mind. The options for things to do in life are endless and they can all be fun, even the ones that are challenging. Just imagining this playground makes me smile and there's a very natural sense of childlike wonder as I assess my life from this perspective.

Children at play can be great teachers for the rest of us. One of the key ingredients I see in children that feeds JOY, is imagination. Playing in a playground opens up all sorts of possibilities beyond what pieces of equipment might be available. For instance, riding the swings can be a trip to Mars....with each pump of your legs, you get closer and closer to this unexplored planet. Jungle Gyms can become pirate ships; Sand boxes are art centers. The playground in my mind also has a quiet place to be still and rest. Whether the stuff of life that we face is extremely challenging or simply day to day stresses, having some lightness, humor and imagination are likely to be better companions than worry, fear and regret.

When are you most creative and resourceful....when you are in fear or wide eyed with imagination?

If you're reading this and thinking that there are some things in life that must be taken seriously, I would encourage you to not collapse important with serious. When we approach living life with the same openness, imagination and complete enthusiasm that a child holds, possibilities are bound to present themselves to handle whatever shows up on our path with greater ease and fewer emotional injuries.

In the Playground in my mind....no one ever gets hurt.