The Simple Sigh

A few days ago I noticed myself sigh. I'm sure in the past I sighed a lot and was totally unaware. This time, I felt a release that came with it. It felt like I let go of something stale, old and unneeded. I liked how that felt.

I imagine my new sigh awareness comes from Yoga. Sometimes the class is instructed to take a deep breath and then to let it out with a sigh. Doing that letting go thing with a roomful of people feels especially good.

My old understanding of sighing went along with being bored, impatient, wistful, melancholy and as an expression of relief . I'm sure sighs with those experiences do help in some way, yet I find myself wanting to widen and better appreciate sighing.

When I actually imagine that as I let out my breath in a sigh I am actually being cleansed or prepared for a new breath, I get kind of excited. A sigh is not a throw-away breath, but one that is being let go of with appreciation. Whatever the cause of the sigh, I'd like to believe that it is serving me in some way.

If it was boredom, then I can wake up to create something filled with aliveness. If it is impatience with someone else, it reminds me to make room for understanding. If it is a wistfulness or melancholy thought, I can gently let go of the old with full appreciation, as I fill myself with new possibilities.

Yeah, I like this new awareness of the simple sigh. It doesn't take any special skill....it's just breathing with intention. Sigh.

The Stories We Tell

We all tell ourselves stories and we can be very creative in our story telling. Keep in mind that these stories do not necessarily have to be true...in fact, they usually aren't. We make them up in our heads. We often do it and we aren't even aware we're doing it.

The stories we tell are often filled with things that scare us. You know, the "what ifs".....what if I'm hurt, what if I fail.....what if they don't accept me.....what if etc., etc. In listening to many people's stories, there is a pattern I see. The pattern is one that puts them in a position of discomfort, lack of love, acceptance and lack of success, otherwise known as failure.

As a coach and as a creative story teller myself, I know it is equally possible to switch out the stories based on fear of lack, loss and failure to stories based on love, success, joy and acceptance.

First of all, when you notice your joy tank being low, check in with yourself to see what story was playing in your mind. If it was one that created fear, re-tell the story to yourself so that it is one that feels good. It is all made up anyway, so you may as well create something that keeps you in better humor and a state of lightness.

For those of you reading this that may accuse me of not taking things of the world seriously, I respond with a question of what state of mind will best serve you in making decisions....a mind filled with joyful thoughts and positive, creative ideas, or a mind filled with fear, dread and limits?

Of course, we all have the choice in how we live our lives. I know for me that the more positive my thoughts, the more positive I feel....the more positive I feel, the better things go in my life. I will continue to practice telling my self stories that create joy. How about you?

Life's Crescendos

The day had barely begun and I was ready to lie down and die. I was completing a fast paced, hour long workout and was working to conquer a long, slow, steep hill. I was way out of breath and my quads were burning. It was hot, humid and I was badly in need of water.

As I was focusing on my discomforts, I noticed the music playing in my ears. My I pod, which was set on shuttle, brought up a random selection of music which happened to be a full orchestra piece with a focus on brass, drums and violins. As I purposefully tuned into the music I noticed it was building to a crescendo and then decided to allow it to carry me. I noticed myself feel more confident and determined to stay strong and not quit. The next thing I knew, the music reached its crescendo at the same moment that I reached the top of my climb.

For the rest of my walk I thought about the metaphorical hills we sometimes climb in our lives. I thought about how we sometimes tell ourselves we can't take another step, even though we know we will. I thought about how exhilarating it is when we stay in the game and reach our crescendos and celebrate all that brought us to that point. I thought about the easy down hill times that are mixed with the harder uphill challenges, and how we don't always appreciate the things that are easy.

Recovery from my uphill challenge was particularly sweet. I not only physically felt strong, I was reminded that the crescendos of life are well worth the struggles we sometimes go through to get to the top.

Don't Postpone Joy

A few years ago my friend Bonnie gave me the perfect gift....a T-shirt that said "Don't Postpone Joy". Whenever I wear it, I think about how elusive JOY can seem to be sometimes. This morning on my walk I experienced my latest thought-filled response to this T-Shirt's deep wisdom.

What came to mind for me today was that the greatest obstacle of JOY is an inability to forgive. If we are holding a grudge, resentment or anger towards someone, then the impact of those states of mind would postpone JOY.

The truth is we cannot feel joy and anger simultaneously. The reason for that is because anger is not in alignment with who we "really are". We may feel justified in our anger, but it is still not a match to our spiritual make-up and therefore postpones joy until we are once again in alignment with the truth of who we are.

What matches our spiritual make-up is love, forgiveness, kindness, understanding, patience, gentleness and compassion. When these are the components that we are practicing, then JOY will be profoundly felt.

So when you find yourself complaining about someone or something, stop for a moment and ask yourself if holding on to your upset is worth postponing JOY. If the answer is "no" then I suggest taking a closer look at that which you are unhappy about and see if you can find peace with it. Can you look beyond the actions of another, or a situation, and find some level of understanding and compassion? Can you simply accept "what is" and stop resisting? Can you forgive?

Postponing JOY just doesn't make sense to me. I cannot imagine any situation that would be worth giving up my joy in exchange. What I know about forgiveness is that it creates freedom and with freedom always comes JOY.

At a Glance

I am frequently amused by the way my mind works (or doesn't work) and this morning I laughed out loud at a source of inspiration while walking in the cemetery.

I was finishing up my third lap and was listening to my i pod. I was a bit distracted by what I was listening to, but noticed a tombstone that I had not seen before. There it was in full view, straight ahead. What I saw at a glance was Kates Button, which made me smile. As I looked closer, I saw what was really written, which was Kate S. Button.

I decided to play with my initial interpretation of Kate's Button and what that meant to me. First of all, I thought about what or who, pushes my buttons. There have been a few people in my life, thankfully none at the present time, that I have allowed to get my goat. I allowed them to steal my joy and upset me, which I would consider button pushing. Having my button pushed in that way does not feel very good. In fact, it is a feeling of being victimized. Over the years, I have become quite adept at identifying button pushers and have learned to keep my button off limits.

From there, my mind went to thoughts about what pushes my button that makes me feel on or that which takes me from dullness to aliveness. Many things came to mind such as the company of certain people, travel experiences, some challenges, my work, dancing, yoga and many other activities that I love to do. My own thoughts can even push my on button.

This little error at a glance kept me entertained for the walk home. I'm grateful for Kate S. Button for keeping me alert and tuned into that which creates joy and that which takes it away.

High Flying

At 6:00 this morning as I drove to Yoga class, I made a request to God for inspiration for a blog post. Within a moment, two birds flew into my sight. What was inspiring about this scene was a very small bird was egging on a much larger bird. It really caught my eye since typically I'd expect to see a larger creature picking on a smaller one.

My first thought in witnessing this scene was how confident this little bird was. Perhaps he/she did not know they were small. Perhaps it just had a greater sense of self-belief than what the larger bird had.

I immediately applied this lesson of high flying to my own life. It reminded me that I can only create experiences to the degree I believe I can. I am only limited by my own beliefs. If I assess a situation to be "too big" for me, than I play small. If I see whatever it is in my sights as absolutely possible, then all I have to do is go after it.

The inspiration I am holding from this little encounter is to not compare myself to those that appear smarter, more savvy or more experienced, but rather to simply soar through life believing I can always fly higher.

Peaceful Relationships

Over the course of our life times there are many people that will cross our paths. We will see some of them as friends and some as enemies. We will be open, kind and respectful to some, and rude and antagonistic to others.

Of course, we will feel justified in our unkindness and rudeness if we see the other as non-deserving of our respect.

When I first saw this picture that a friend sent in an email this morning, it struck me that this cat and eagle were not likely to be friends, however this shot depicts some level of tolerance, perhaps even openness to take a closer look at the other. Perhaps these two species are overriding what may be an instinct or are possibly even taught, and are willing to meet, eye to eye and get to know one another.

I admit, I'm making up a story here, but it is a story I enjoy imagining. It's a story that does not anticipate conflict, but looks closer and more deeply to see goodness and commonality in one another. My story has characters that are secure enough to assume the best, rather than the worst in those around them. My story does not depict wars, but rather peaceful conversations. My story respects all and simply by pausing to reflect on the feelings of their enemy, creates trust in the other.

This cat and eagle have inspired me to pause before I judge....to be open to see the best and to sit with those that I typically would avoid. Perhaps I will learn something that will make my life even more of a joy to live.