Looking Fear in the Eye

At any given time all of us are faced with situations that make us cringe in fear. We often lose any sense of grounding simply by thinking about that which we fear most. When we come unglued due to fear, we can lose all sense of who we really are and react from ego, rather than respond from spirit. If we look fear in the eye, we can learn what's really going on.

I heard a story related today that was a refreshing change from running away from whatever it is causing a fearful reaction. This person took a deep breath and stepped into a potential confrontation with authenticity after looking her fear in the eye. Rather than pretending to be unaffected in this potential struggle for power, she admitted to her discomfort. Her authentic expression of vulnerability invited her adversary to do the same. What could have been a screaming match of two people in fear, turned out to be a peaceful conversation and collaboration to a solution that was acceptable to both parties.

Imagine how your personal level of peace could be heightened if you took stock of your own fears at any given moment. I speak of fear as being the foundation for any emotion that is not of the peaceful emotional category.

If we are angry, there is a fear we will lose something or might not get our way. We can be fearful of how we'll look or what people may say about us. If we're jealous, we may be afraid of losing someone from our life, or not having enough stuff compared to others. If we're resentful, our fears may be about being taken advantage of or mistreated. The bottom line is if we react in any way other than with love, kindness or peace, we're scared. If we're scared, we will not be showing up at our best.

So, if you'd like to experiment with this concept, notice every time you feel the inclination to raise your voice, blame someone or voice a complaint. Check in with yourself to see what you may be afraid of losing. I also suggest you notice how that emotional fear based state feels. If you don't like the feeling, take a deep breath and respond rather than react.

Awareness of your fear does not mean you allow the world to walk all over you. On the contrary, what I am suggesting will occur, is that you will no longer be giving away your peace to anyone that crosses you, but will stay grounded, authentic and even more powerful to voice your needs and desires.

Sidewalk Inspiration

Early this morning in the last mile of my walk, I came across some sidewalk inspiration in the form of chalk drawings and captions. I assume the artist(s) were children and I was able to easily imagine the fun they must have had creating their murals.

The impact of this art display was very powerful. They caused me to stop and linger a bit, taking in their messages. There were several drawings and sayings, and they all were about LOVE. I can only imagine the artist(s) not only felt loved, but were also loving. Some of the quotes were "I love my CAT", "I love God", "Jesus loves me", "I love my home".

It seems it often takes the innocence of a child to express love so freely. Adults often have more fear about being so transparent. The artwork was creative, there was no apparent blueprint that they followed. I imagine that doing it wrong, was not a concern. I felt joyful as I walked across the love sidewalk, which I can only imagine matched the feelings of the artist(s) as they created their series of murals.

I am generally open to be inspired and can find inspiration in just about anything. This morning's example was hard to miss. It made me wonder what life would be like if we all expressed our desire to be loved and if we shared our love as freely as the artist(s) of the sidewalk I walked across today. I imagine we would all be much kinder to one another.

There is much to learn from children and the lessons of love are no exception.

Shift Happens

I am constantly reminded how quickly things can change. Shift happens, or at least can happen, in an instant....that is when we allow our thoughts to create a shift.

Yesterday morning while I was out for my daily trek, I ran into a former JOY workshop participant. I hadn't seen her in awhile and stopped to say hello. When I asked how things were going in her life, she gave me the condensed version of three years of financial fears, frustrations and dis empowerment. This gal gave up a well paying job due to concerns for her overall health. Her home, which is in need of repair, has been on the market unsuccessfully for three years and is at risk of foreclosure. She is barely supporting herself at the present time, living day to day.

Obviously, in listing her various problems, she was feeling scared, desperate and confused. After listening to her feelings for awhile, it struck me that she was identifying herself with the issues that are currently present in her life. She lost track of who she was. I'm not talking about her titles, degrees or work experience, but about the truth of her.

As I reminded her of that which is the truth, I saw her face shift from fear to peace. I witnessed her reconnection and shift to a place of knowing she can handle anything that comes along, regardless of the situations.

Shortly after her shift of perspective, we bid our good-byes and continued walking in opposite directions. A half hour later at another point in town, we came upon each other again. This meeting was a joyful one. I could see her smile in the distance as she approached. This time she related to me how wonderful she felt. There was now hope and optimism that all will be well and that all is well even now.

This was an amazing transformation to witness. In the second meeting, I witnessed a woman that was connected to the spirit of her. Her financial challenges still existed. Her home still needed repairs and was not yet sold. She was still unsure of what the outcomes would be, yet looking at the issues of her life, from a place of peace, created an opening for unconditional joy to be present. What a joy and inspiration it was for me to witness this shift. There is nothing special about my friend that created this transformation in her perspective, other than her being open to it.

I believe without question, when we allow ourselves to look within, beyond our perceived limits and fears, we can all find peace, joy, and freedom. It also seems more likely that we can better deal with the challenges that are present in our lives when we are in a state of peace, rather than fear.

Wake Up and Smell the Lilacs

It is definitely lilac season in Wellsboro. I could have missed it, had I not awakened from my state of non-presence on my walk this morning.

It was 6:30 a.m. and after walking my husband to work, I continued my four mile trek about town. I was deep in thought, rehearsing my lines for an upcoming play this week-end, making my mental to-do list for the day, and essentially totally non-present to the beauty around me....that is until I got a beautiful whiff of lilac.

It was almost as if I was startled back to the beauty of reality by the unmistakable scent. I looked to the side of the road and there was a line up of several lilac bushes, all in full bloom. Of course, I had to stop and linger for awhile, appreciating this lovely scent of May.

Once I woke up I was then alert for the next lilac bush that would appear on my path. I wove in and out of side streets, walked the main boulevards and even through a few backyards, on my search for more lilacs.

Sometimes I fall asleep in life and can miss some lovely moments. Thankfully, there are certain things that remind me to stay awake. Lilacs are one of those things.

Make Yourself At Home

Early this morning in Yoga class, our instructor guided us to make ourselves at home in our bodies. I smiled when I heard this and thought how much more at home I feel now as compared to a few months ago.

My body has always treated me pretty well and I felt pretty comfortable most of the time. The past two years, however, brought some changes that made me feel like I moved into some other body. This was not a move up into a spacious high rise or a sprawling mansion, but rather more like a shack with a tin roof.

The move did not bring more comfort, but rather more weight, less flexibility and some new aches and pains. What added to my not feeling at home any more was the frustration of these undesired body related elements. I know many people in my age range, see these things as normal and give up no longer feeling comfortable or at home in their bodies. I resisted. I don't mind getting older, but I still wanted to feel good in this body that carries me through my days. I was exercising, eating healthy foods, and yet, my body home was needing some major renovations.

My body home improvements began in early February. I committed to take even better care of myself. I improved my diet, doubled my cardio minutes per week and added Yoga to the mix. I have lost 20 pounds and feel myself moving back to that body where I can truly feel comfortable and at home.

I often say "I am not my body", and I truly believe that. I prefer to not correlate the essence of who I am with my physical self. What is also true, however, is that this body I am in transports me to all of the wonderful physical adventures the essence of me experiences.

My body home improvements continue and when they are complete, there will be consistent maintenance to keep my dwelling as comfortable as possible.

Making myself at home in my body has added to my joy tank considerably since I have exchanged frustration with empowerment, fear with optimism and discomfort with well being.

Ahhhhhh.......home again.

Mother and Child

In a world where things change all the time, there are some things that will always be the same. Today, which is Mother's Day, the thing of which I am referring to is the love of mother and child. I am a child and a mother, so I know what I'm talkin' about.

This picture was taken at the adoption hearing for my son, Alan. He was eight months old and had been with us for six months. I can remember the relief of knowing that legally he was ours. Of course, he was ours the first time we held him at the age of eight weeks, but on this day it became real on paper.

It is hard to describe the power of love when you are given the gift of a child, although every mother reading this knows what I am trying to say. The really remarkable phenomena about the love of mother and child is that if relationships are maintained and are allowed to grow as both mother and child mature. Then love evolves too.

My son is no longer in my direct care. He does not depend on me or my husband to care for him, but he does know we will never cease to care about him. Alan has been living independently for quite awhile and still knows he can count on us to support him, no matter what he chooses to do in his life or where his path leads. He'll be celebrating his 28th birthday this month while completing his Army basic training.

As a child, I also know that love can grow and evolve. My Mom is 91 and now lives nearby in an assisted living facility. She's been my Mom for 56+ years and I am still learning and being inspired by her love of life and of me. She doesn't take anything too seriously and has seemingly added to her longevity and good health with her optimistic attitude. When we get together, we both know that we can count on each other, no matter what. I wanna be like her when I grow up.

Yes, this mother/child love thing we celebrate on Mothers Day is pretty sweet. Like so many things that are worth having, as long as we cherish it, maintain it and grow it, it will always be a source of joy.

The View

I am frequently entertained by the countless views or perspectives we humans can have. What is particularly amusing is that we typically see our personal perspectives as being "right". Of course that would be the case, since we believe we know all there is to know and have come to the conclusion as to what is "right" based on the obvious....that is, what is going on in our minds.

The truth is when looking at many situations, there are numerous perspectives that can be "right". The stretch for us is to open our minds enough so we can consider another answer, solution, viewpoint etc. Many times when we have strongly attached ourselves to a position or opinion, we don't know all there is to know and we fear letting go of our idea. Typically, if there is more than one person involved, there will be at least that many different views on the subject.

When more than one view is present, there may be a collision....In the defense of our view someone may be hurt....something may be spoken from a defensive stance that creates a mess, hurt feelings, stress, anxiety and even separation. Naturally when each person then looks at the mess, a new view is created about that newly created situation, and on it goes.

To be able to live peacefully, it seems to make sense to not hold too tightly to our own personal view. Being curious about the perspective someone else holds may open our minds to a whole new way of seeing things. Being open to a different view, not only helps relationships, it deepens our understanding about the connection we all share while having unique ways of seeing the world.

My goal is not to have to be right. I once heard author/speaker, Wayne Dyer, say if you have the choice to be kind or be right, choose kind. I take that as sound advice, since being kind means peace and that is really what I want.