Flocking Together

Earlier this week while on a hike on a country road, I was stopped in my tracks when hundreds of blackbirds flew overhead. I was mesmerized, not only by the number, but by what appeared to be the joint intention of enjoying their play.

I watched a pattern emerge with a few birds in a leadership role, lead the flock from tree to tree. In spite of the large number, they all fit, side by side on the branches of trees where all the leaves had fallen. After a minute, the leaders would swoop up again and lead the flock across the road to another bare tree.

As I stood there and watched, I thought how lovely it was that so many birds could cooperate in this game, without any apparent egos, manipulations or behind the back pecking. There was no distinction between shades of feather color or family histories. Although obviously individual birds, the appearance and feel that they gave was that of oneness. With that oneness was also a natural enjoyment of play in the moment.

After a five minute break for my flocking lesson, I went on my way thinking of what life would be like for us wingless humans that go to work, drive cars, walk on the streets, shop, dine, recreate and go to school. How different it would be if we could take turns taking the lead, flying through life with freedom, joy and without fear of being shot down.

Positively Misunderstood

Last week, one of John Stewart's guests on the Daily Show authored a book regarding the negative impact of positivity. I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but I was curious as to the reason this topic was felt to be relevant enough to write a book, so I watched and listened.

As it turned out, the author, who happens to be a breast cancer survivor had people in her life tell her to keep a bright outlook through her experience of cancer. My reaction was one of ahhhh.....how misguided.....regarding those that may have wanted to support the author with a positive outlook, without being aware of what she really needed at that time, and the author for now condemning the big picture of positive thought based on her experience of misguided positive supporters.

Being an unconditional advocate for joy and inner peace, it is my personal objective to meet all that comes along in my life without resistance, thus with peaceful acceptance rather than fear. Sometimes I succeed, like when I was diagnosed with cancer, and sometimes I fail. When I fail to see anything to be "happy" about, I cannot be convinced. What I need is to move through the emotions at my own pace.

What appears to have occurred in the experience of the author interviewed was that of being unheard or seen in a time of what was most likely very difficult, tainted her overall opinion of positive thought. What has created a negative response in this woman's case was of being drilled with positivity when what she truly needed was to be understood for what she actually was feeling.

Confused to be reading that last statement from the Queen of positive perspectives? Let me explain. What is true for any one of us in any given moment is what is "true". In other words, how we feel is what is true (at least in that moment). To have someone that does not feel the same "truth" try to cover up our "truth" with a sugar coating in the form of an invitation to "be happy", doesn't work.

So, how does someone who chooses to see the silver linings in life's clouds, interact with the rest of the world? For starters, be empathetic with the other person in a negative state of mind. Imagine what they may be feeling....In fact, ask them what they're feeling. It is not any one's job to convince someone to feel a different way, but rather to allow people to have their own emotional experience. By the same token, someone feeling peace in a situation that others do not, is not a reason to sell out on peace and be angry or depressed and match the majority.

As for those that agree with the author that positive thought is just plain harmful, I encourage you to look beyond the misplaced intentions of those that step on toes with positive speak. Positive thought can only be swallowed if you truly desire it and are ready to swallow it.

Storm of Blessings

Today was my day for a six mile walk. I have a weekly schedule for alternate days of cardio or weight training and yoga. Today was a cardio day.

Before going off to work my husband gave me his condensed version of a weather report. "Could rain or possibly snow all day". Neither one sounded very good to me. I don't like being challenged by the elements when I exercise and I already had a three mile walk in the rain earlier this week.

By the time I was dressed and ready to head out the door, it had started to snow. The flakes were those little ones with hardly any space in between.....you know like rain drops that get a little fluffy as they fall from the sky.

I decided I would hope for the best...maybe this snow is just a little shower and the sun will come out by the time I reach the top of my first hill. That didn't happen. Soon after beginning my trek, I realized I had to come up with a positive perspective about this first (and premature) snow fall of the year, or it would be a very long six miles.

As my eyes scanned in front, back and to each side all I could see were snow flakes, softly touching the ground and then melting. I decided to see each snow flake as a representation of a blessing in my life. For awhile, I was correlating particular things I'm grateful for as I focused on individual flakes. Next, I thought about people in my life that were showing up as flakes. I gave those flakes names.

As I continued on my trek, my little game of appreciating this snow storm as a show of all that blesses me and all that is waiting for me, made my time through the country back roads especially enjoyable. When I was at the highest point of my trek, I could see for miles in three different directions. That expansive area was also filled with snowflake blessings. Since there were way too many to count, I then shifted into massive appreciation for the many blessings that have yet to come into my life.

I don't know what's coming next on my path....all I know is by today's experience the snowflakes predict a great life ahead with much to be grateful for. God was certainly having a great time giving me gifts today.

By the way, these snowflakes weren't meant just for me.....they're yours too. What are you grateful for?

Letting Go, Making Space

Earlier today I experienced a sudden onset of inspiration mixed with energy for the particular task of cleaning out a double bookcase. This large bookcase with opened shelves and covered storage is somewhat of a focal point in our living room. Besides displaying lots of books, it also is a display area for framed photos, some little knick-knack do dads and behind the closed doors, a bunch of uninteresting stuff that accumulates over the years.

I have noticed my books have been looking disorganized and messy. I've grown tired of dusting old, outdated pictures of my nephews and of seeing a frowning face sculpture that my son made in eighth grade.

As I rearranged the books and accumulated a pile to give away, I noticed I was getting excited with seeing the space I was creating. A metaphor was developing before my eyes.

As I went through the things behind the doors that no one ever sees (including me), I wondered why I was saving it and how much freer I would feel if I didn't hold onto things I didn't need or want.

Stuff accumulates.... physical stuff on our shelves and also stuff in our minds. Some of the stuff of life that we hold onto like regrets, anger or guilt can take up a lot of room. We may not be fully aware that it's even there, yet it is taking up space in our minds and using our energy to manage it.

Clearing out, letting go and making space for what we truly want to fill our shelves, as well as our minds, will surely make for a lighter, freer feeling life. Ahhhhhh......who doesn't want that?

Re-Boot As Needed

Has your life ever gotten so overwhelming that you could not process quickly enough to keep yourself on track. Things start going wrong. You start making mistakes. You lose things that are important. Your late for appointments. You can't keep up with emails. Many people are waiting for your answer and you haven't even had time to think about the question.

In a conversation with a friend earlier this week, he was describing his life situation to be in this state of overwhelm. He is doing the best he can to keep up, while new and even more challenging situations continue to be thrown at him to handle, while other things on his list are still on hold. He recognized that he needed a break to regain balance and get his life running more smoothly again. His description of this state is to re-boot his life.

We know what it's like when our computers are not running smoothly. Often times these little machines we rely on so greatly get overwhelmed with information and the system seems to slow down, or doesn't respond to our commands.

When my computer is behaving this way, I often continue to hit different keys, trying to get it to wake up and do the job I want it to perform. Many times, my impatience with it only makes the situation worse.

Eventually, I give up and re-boot. Miraculously as the computer re-boots, even after a short rest, things are running smoothly again. The processing is once again a prompt response to commands. It operates predictably and efficiently.

Re-booting in your life can work the same way. When we power down and rest while becoming still and quiet, all that seems to be in chaos can settle in to some sort of order. Our fast moving minds quiet so that we can remember what is really important. A feeling of peace replaces overwhelm and fear. As our perspective shifts, we can regain a sense of calmness as we handle the items on our to-do lists with a clearer mind.

The next time you find yourself not processing life quickly enough, rather than forcing yourself to continue to perform by pushing harder, I suggest you re-boot. When you start up again, I bet you'll be better able to meet life as it comes.

Lessons from Laramie

I recently had the experience of being in the audience of the play, The Laramie Project. I joined a full house of fellow theater goers appreciate a cast of amazing actors tell the story of a real life account of a town's reaction to a brutal beating and eventual death of a young homosexual man. This hate crime, although it took place in Laramie Wyoming, could have occurred anywhere. To me, this was not just a lesson about a lack of tolerance for homosexuality, but about addressing our fears of living together in a world of different races, religious beliefs, opinions, and life styles.

Following this poignant and well told story, the audience was invited to stay for a "Talk Back" with the actors. This is an opportunity to discuss the experience of the play's message and to express our views, emotions and lessons learned.

It was interesting to hear what struck each of those that spoke. I was pleased to see how a theatrical production can be the round table for a discussion about some very challenging issues.

Seeing and hearing the heart wrenching story seemed to be what caused us all to pause and feel the sadness that hate creates.

I imagine that conversations about intolerance and even hate are still occurring by all those that witnessed this dramatic story. I know I'm still thinking about it.

Reflections of Our Town

Last evening my husband and I attended the final performance of Our Town, produced by Hamilton-Gibson Productions. It was a compelling performance based on the superior talent of the director and actors, creative staging, and most importantly for the reflections and conversations that it stimulated once the show was complete.

When I was a young girl and had the assignment to read Our Town for English class, I was not impressed. There were no meaningful personal reflections that stayed with me throughout my years lived since high school. Perhaps at that time, it was because I was more concerned with my popularity or some other less than spiritual focus.

This performance, however, fully resonated with what I now hold as my focus for living life.

The overall running theme in the show is that the people of Grover's Corners were not fully present as they lived out their lives. There were things that needed to be done every day and as their attention was firmly placed on just getting through the day, the vibrancy of life was lost. It was as though there was a film that covered up the natural brightness that being fully present to each moment could bring.

In the touching and powerful final moments of the play, where several characters spoke from their graves, their regret for having missed the opportunities of fully living life inspired the audience to not make the same mistake.

Regardless of where your town happens to be, it seems it is the challenge for us all, to pause and be present to not only the choices we're making, but to one another.

It is my focus to experience my life as full and well lived. This is not based on how much I get done, but on how much I experience and can relate with others along the way.