The Art of Fine Tuning

Imagine you are like a radio station and your job is to broadcast information to others. This information is not just answers to questions others have of you, but everything about you. This includes your thoughts, feelings and intentions.....the music of you.

Now, think about a radio dial that is not quite tuned in. You can hear the music or the speaker, but it is not resonating. It sounds as though something is off a bit. Sometimes we hear an un-tuned radio and ignore the fact that it is not coming through as it was meant to, yet we still listen.

When you consider yourself as a radio station that is not tuned in, you will not only be broadcasting in a way that is not a match of who you really are, there will be static to let you know that some fine tuning is needed.

Fine tuning our own stations requires us to pay attention to how we feel. If the choices we are making, or the way we are behaving does not resonate fully with ourselves, our dials need to be adjusted (and sometimes only slightly), so who we really are is coming through.

This doesn't mean that anyone within broadcasting distance of you will stay tuned in, they may not, but it does mean that what is being broadcasted is the real deal you, and true resonance is what you will feel.

The Innocence of Truth

Sometimes truth is a scary thing to consider. It makes things real, and sometimes we are not courageous enough to be real. Living a life truthfully need not be so frightening when we truly see the innocence of truth.

When you think of truth as that which is in your heart, I believe it makes it easier to be with. After all, who could question the content of one's heart? When anyone is innocently sharing what they feel, it seems more than appropriate for the rest of us to open our hearts to receive it. Truth need not hurt, when we are seeing it as simply the content of one's true self being expressed to another.

Imagine what life in this world would be like, if all agreed to drop their defenses and allow their hearts to speak. Would everyone drop dead from truth flying back and forth, or would we learn to be with the truth without taking it personally?

Perhaps we would get to know ourselves better, as well as those around us, since fearing our own truth can be as debilitating as being afraid of someone else.

I imagine what we would actually discover is that finding the courage to speak what is true for us, and to hear what is true for another, would be an experience of joyful freedom "to be", without excuses, exceptions, regrets or apologies.

Better than Good

I frequently get the impression from people that they are hesitant to expect much beyond good in their lives. It almost seems as though expecting a wonderful, fabulous or extraordinary life is out of line....as if there are only so many extraordinary experiences to go around and they don't want to be greedy.

The truth is, holding the bar low for our lives does not make someone else's life better. If we accept satisfactory (or less) as the limit, it does not spread excellent to the rest. Another misconception is that if we don't expect too much, we can't be disappointed.... as if disappointments are to be avoided. The flip side of that perspective is disappointments, or what we sometimes call failures, simply sharpen our awareness and intentions even more. When we can learn to see the blessings in every experience, our lives go from good to better to great and so on.

Somehow, many of us developed this limited way of thinking, without paying attention to the truth. The truth is the greater our level of joy is in life and the higher our expectation is to live an extraordinary life, the better we feel. The better we feel, the greater the likelihood we will attract the types of situations and opportunities we are longing to live. When we are enjoying the whole process, we cannot fail.

It all comes down to this moment. It is not your life plan, your bank account or the actions of others that determines whether or not your life will be fabulous. Seeing the extraordinary in every moment cannot help but create a glorious life.

Malaise of Life

For most of the past week, I experienced symptoms of medical malaise. I just felt off. I had no energy or interest in doing anything, a poor appetite and vague fleeting physical symptoms of discomfort. Malaise is a word that describes the nondescript. Without knowing exactly what's awry, it doesn't feel right or healthy.

As I was observing myself in this state of medical malaise, I began to think how this term can also describe how one may sometimes feel in their life.

Have you ever felt off, or just not up to your usual level of enthusiasm, optimism or adventure for life? Have you ever noticed that your appetite for the many delights of life, simply did not appeal? Have you ever noticed your physical self resist getting up off the couch to exercise, as though the energy for it had to begin somewhere else in your brain and that part was non-functioning? Have you ever recognized that your attitude about life was unhealthy and that it did not feel good to be in that state of mind?

The good news about malaise of life is that you don't have to wait for a virus to pass before you can feel vibrantly healthy and alive again. You can create the shift from blah to joy, by shifting your thoughts one by one to a more positive state of mind. A fast track to recovery from malaise of life is to practice gratitude. Remembering to be grateful for all, because all life experiences will ultimately serve you. Exchange helpless feelings for hopeful ones.

As with medical maladies, there are prophylactic approaches that can be taken to lower the chances of ever becoming ill. This is true with the non-physical maladies such as malaise of life, as well.

Be careful what you think about, remembering positive thoughts are healthy and negative thoughts are not. Love yourself, unconditionally, all of the time. Forgive yourself and others whenever an opportunity arises. Seek out loving, joyful experiences and live them often.

This treatment plan can be effective anytime.....before or after symptoms appear.....Be consistent and you will always be vibrantly healthy.

Following the Beat of Your Drum

Imagine there is a drum, beating deep within you, that is guiding you to live a life of joy and ease. The beat of your drum is uniquely yours and very often may not be in sync with the drum beats of those you come in contact with. Perhaps your tempo is slow and steady with a very powerful resonance, while someone else's drum beat may be a faster and lighter rhythm. There are innumerable tempos and rhythms and all of them are perfect, but only for the person they are guiding.

When you are consciously staying in step with the beat of your own drum, life will feel easier. When you are trying to keep step with the rhythm of another person's drum, it will feel awkward and uneasy. Sometimes we insist that others follow our drum beat instead of their own, and that doesn't feel good either.

So how do we manage to follow our own unique drum beat and still be part of a family, a business, community, country or planet that is a conglomerate of numerous rhythms? We can do so, by respecting ourselves as we respect others. If we remember we do not have to sell out on ourselves to fit in and do not have to insist that others change to match our needs, we can all live in peace.

The more we practice listening to our own unique beat and experience the peace and joy of life that comes with it, the better we are able to appreciate the unique rhythms that surround us from others.

When we are following the beat of our own drum as others are doing the same, beautiful music will always be the result.

Please visit my website ...www.triumphcoach.com for more joy related offerings.

Building Relationships

My observations of the lessons from a lizard have continued. As shared in a previous post, Monty, my sons Giant Sudan Plated lizard, has temporarily taken up residence in my home. Since he moved in, I have gravitated from resentment to acceptance, to curiosity and more recently to connection.

You may find it hard to believe one could connect with a reptile. Believe me, a month ago I, too, could not believe that was a possibility for me. Instead, what I am noticing is Monty and I are developing a trusting relationship.

At first, he hid whenever I walked by his aquarium. Gradually, he would stay and take my presence in, warily at first, and then with an apparent growing ease. I can only imagine, just as in our human relationships, we both needed time to learn and experience trust.

In conjunction with trust in creating a relationships, another component needed would be a lack of judgment. I know I had judgments of Monty, as he probably did of me....considering of course, that faculty is present in reptiles.

I realize now that my judgments were simply based on fear and a lack of understanding. Isn't that true in human relationships too? We tend to judge or condemn that which we don't understand. If we can manage to be open-minded and less fearful, a basic open curiosity can shift us from a negative stance to a positive one.

Perhaps my judgments of Monty were due to my not liking how he looked. He's scaly and not of a texture typically find warm and inviting. That is not his fault, he is what he is. My judgments of him were more about me and my fears about his being different.

I now find myself appreciating his uniqueness. I enjoy watching him do "his thing", that which is his normal reptilian activities.

Yesterday, a turning point in our relationship occurred. When I removed the top screen to feed him, he did not hide. He stayed out in full view. I decided to test our trust and reached in to pet his head. He calmly received my affection. He did not try to bite me or whip me with his long tail.
It was touching to experience this mutual trust.

So as I take in this experience of growing trust, I can see what my growing edge is in my human relationships. Letting go of preconceived judgments and fears, being curious, allowing the other person to be who they are, without my trying to change them, creates a space for true trust to grow.

I encourage you to pay attention to those relationships that are not fulfilling and do not hold trust. What is it that you need to let go of to open the door for more trust in your relationships?

Leading Lady

For some reason theater references often fill my mind as potential metaphors. Today I was pondering the concept of "Leading Lady". Saying it out loud sounds important, doesn't it?

Obviously, the leading lady would be a vital element of the story being depicted. She would be a powerful force making or breaking the performance of the play or movie. She would also be deserving of special attention, like a special dressing room, a chair with her name on it, and maybe first in line at the food truck. I'm sure her opinion on various topics would also be of interest to others.

I think I'm going to play with the idea that I am the leading lady in my life. Life isn't a performance, it's for real, yet I am the major player. The choices I make, how I behave, and in essence, how I want to live would be totally up to me. Since it's my life, then my opinion is the last word.

Now of course, I may ask for some direction and will learn from the other actors (that would be you), but when it gets down to it, being the leading lady means my life revolves around me.

Doesn't it make sense then to treat myself well and to honor my importance in having my life lived well?

Life is not a show and I am not acting, but knowing I am the star of this production I am living, feels good. The wonderful thing about this idea is we all get to have the lead parts in our lives and we all get to be honored for who we are.

Although I am the leading lady in my life, it does not mean I deserve any more than anyone else that is starring in their life. It also does not mean that all I would care about is me. What it does mean is that I play it out the way I see fit.

I am very happy to be casted in this role and plan on making it a great show!