Triumph of the Hills

My husband and I set off on a hilly six mile walk early this morning. It's a beautiful day in Pennsylvania and was perfect for some vigorous exercise.

The first two miles of our trek were uneventful. No hills or uneven terrain to navigate. We hardly were aware we were exercising it was so easy. Soon after the two mile mark, however, we came to our first hill climb. As we shifted gears and got into the mindset of tackling the incline, I remembered my first running lesson many years ago.

I was trying to run a mile uphill without stopping to take a break. I remember my husband, an experienced marathoner, telling me to not focus on how far I had to go, but to keep my head down looking at the ground beneath my feet. In essence, he told me to focus on taking one step at a time and to imagine my footstep was actually pressing the ground out flat. This imagery had an amazing affect on my ability. While following his instruction my mind allowed my body to make that first hill climb without the usual suffering my thoughts of dread would create.

As I practiced this lesson this morning, I naturally transformed my physical experience into a metaphor for life. How easy it is to look ahead at how much work there is to do and how hard it will be to reach our goals. We set ourselves up for pain, suffering and difficulty. When we are so sure that our goals will not be easy to reach and that suffering is mandatory, our enjoyment of the process is also interrupted.

My desire is to hold the image of reaching the top of each hill I climb and experiencing that lovely feeling of triumph as I arrive, knowing that it was simply one step at a time that got me there.

Unspoiled Perspective

I spent the day yesterday at Drama Camp with about 16 kids ranging from 3rd to 7th grade. I love Drama Camp because it's a great opportunity to play and be silly while calling it acting.

The theme of the Camp was "Question", so all of our activities revolved around questions. This was a great topic and wide open for interpretation in teaching theater skills. I led two mini workshops....one on improvisation where we all had to communicate by asking questions only. It's very fun...you should try it.

My other workshop, that inspired this blog, began by my asking the kids to answer the question "Who are you?" without describing themselves by their name, age, family status or by the things they like to do. This is a question that my partner and I pose to adults in our JOY of NOW workshop. It typically stumps most adults since most people tend to assess their identity by what they do and have a hard time identifying who they be.

What was absolutely delightful yesterday was that the kids were able to answer the question without much prodding or help. Their perspective of themselves was unspoiled. They freely described who they each were without any signs of embarrassment. There was no comparing or apparent difficulty in speaking of themselves in a positive way. Each child was able to "own" the gifts they possess.

In my work with two different groups separated in age groups, I did notice the youngest kids were able to share a bit more freely than the older group. Perhaps the preteens have already begun to doubt the natural gifts that make them unique.

My hope is that these kids will remember who they are as they continue to mature. I hope that if someone criticizes them they will know even if they made a mistake, who they are is still amazing. I hope they will always be able to own their gifts without embarrassment or comparison. I hope their hearts and minds will remain unspoiled.

A Snail's Pace and Presence

Earlier this morning as I sat on my patio having coffee, I noticed a snail slowly moving across the flagstone. I watched as it moved a short distance and then stopped as if it was being sure to take in all that was around it. After a few seconds, it moved on, repeating it's leisurely movement with no apparent guilt or stress in not getting somewhere by a certain time.

I found it amusing how this little creature that typically is referred to in a not so complimentary way, was currently captivating my attention. It made me think about how we humans rush more than we are slow and present. In our hurry to get to the next "thing", we miss the beauty of what is present right here, right now.

When I really think about it. I cannot honestly say there are many times where my fast pace is actually necessary. Perhaps my actions are simply trying to keep up with my fast moving thoughts. The good news is I have control over my thoughts.

So, when is it really necessary to rush to the next moment? I suppose if I was being chased by someone with a gun in his hand, that would be a good time to quickly move. If I was crossing a street and a big truck was speeding towards me, rushing would certainly be in order. If a shark was near me as I swam in the ocean, I would surely swim toward the shore as fast as I could.

What I'm noticing in these examples is that they all come from fear of harm, although the number of times I have actually been in danger of harm, requiring my rushing, have been slim.

The other fear, which is certainly more pervasive in all of our lives, is of failure. We believe that if we don't get enough done in a certain amount of time, we will fail. If we fail then we believe we are not valuable. I don't believe the snail slowly moving along the flagstone path has any fears of failure or of proving it's value. It just seems perfectly happy just to "be" present.

Perhaps reassessing the impact of potential failure will give me more clues about why I sometimes move so fast. So what if I fail? After all, it's not permanent...like being eaten by a shark.

War Made Personal

I never think much about war. I try to focus on peace. I often think about the men and women that fight the wars and even pray for their safety, but I don't watch much T.V. coverage or read many magazine or newspaper articles on the wars. I figured my being pulled into fear or anger would not create peace, so my war-related thoughts were limited.

Last week, however, war became personal. I learned my son, Alan, will be leaving for Afghanistan in three weeks. He recently graduated from basic training and was told he would be spending the next six months in training in a nice safe place, Fort Drum, NY. Shortly after showing up for duty he learned the Army changed his orders and he began the process to prepare for deployment in July.

In first hearing the news, I noticed a sudden quick squirt of fear enter my mind. I wanted to protest and tell the Army that it's not fair to change plans like that without notice. I wanted Alan to have more time to prepare and learn everything he could about his specialty as a combat engineer (defusing bombs and land mines).

The next day while on a beautiful drive in my car, I felt a wave of peaceful acceptance wash over me. I began to focus on trusting all will be well and that Alan will be able to handle himself in whatever situation comes his way. I began to focus on the exciting adventures he will have and the relationships he will make with the others that will be in his unit. I focused on the learning he will receive in his training and how he will grow as a person. I focused on how Alan will rise to every occasion no matter how challenging, and how he has always desired to keep others safe.

Although war suddenly became personal, I do not plan on increasing my exposure to news reports. I will continue to pray for safe return for all of the service men and women. What's different now is my son will be part of that prayer.

The Clouds of Time

At 5:00 this morning, I was lying on my living room floor taking a breather in between crunches and leg lifts. As I looked out the window I noticed there were a lot of clouds moving across the sky in the early light. It was a surreal appearing sight since the speed of the clouds appeared to be in fast motion....You know how it's done with a fast forward of filming with a television or movie camera to give the impression time is passing quickly.

In the moment, I paused to think if time was really in fast forward, what that would be like. For one, I would be finished with my workout. I'd already be back from yoga, showered, dressed and well into my day. My calls would be made, the bathroom cleaned and office work complete.

Although there have been many times in my life that I wished for time to pass quickly, I honestly prefer now to keep the clouds of time at their natural pace. In other words I am choosing to live my life with more attention to more moments. The slower I can be the more details I am aware of. Even if what I am experiencing may not be pleasant, I don't want to cheat myself out of seeing what lessons are there for me.

Yesireeee, if I had the opportunity to fast forward time to something I am waiting for, I'd hate to think of all the wonderful moments I would miss in between.

D.U.I.Y. (Driving Under the Influence of Yoga)

My road of life metaphor thread continues.

The other night following my Yoga class, I was feeling especially good. There was an elevated sense of alertness, and at the same time a feeling of extreme peacefulness. I felt the effect so strongly, I put my window down so the wind would stimulate me, keeping me alert to the road. I laughed at my own thought that I was driving under the influence of Yoga and hoped I wouldn't be pulled over.

Driving the metaphorical road of life under the influence of Yoga seems like a good idea to me since I feel so good....peaceful and yet fully alive. What a joy it is to live within a state of mind that does not contemplate harm or judgment of oneself or another, but rather experiencing life fully. The absence of the need to compare is also a plus, since for many the typical road of life causes people to constantly look over their shoulder.

Other Yoga practice benefits come from an inner focus centered on breathing, movement and presence in any given moment, simultaneously. There is a very sacred honoring and integration of one's body, mind and spirit that takes place. Maybe if we all made this our practice for ourselves, we would honor each other more too.

I managed to drive home safely with no threat to anyone else on the road. Had I been pulled over for D.U.I.Y., I wonder if there would be a breath test to determine my level of inner peace. Even if there was, I'm sure it's legal.

Tuned Into the Shift

My son has always been tuned into mechanical things and how they work. When he was just a toddler, strapped into his car seat, he was giving me advice on how to drive.

One day I was driving the back roads of Tioga County in my standard shift 1981 Volvo. I was going uphill and the engine was straining a bit in fourth gear. Just before I put my hand on the gear shift, I heard a small voice come from the backseat, saying "Downshift, Mommy".

I was amazed that my three year old child was tuned in enough to hear the engine and know what the car needed in the moment. It was a memorable lesson for me that when we are tuned in to life, we also have a sense of what is needed in any moment.

Our signals to shift in life are often subtle, so we must pay close attention and not fall asleep at the wheel.