The Peace on Earth Challenge

This is one of my favorite times of the year since most people seem to be kinder than usual. Of course there are a few Grinches and Scrooges among us, but for the most part I notice most people seem to go out of their way to be kind and helpful.

It almost seems like people give themselves permission to look beyond their gripes and grievances and allow their best or true selves to shine through. Maybe they're trusting more or paying attention to the Christmas message about peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Perhaps they let down their guard and release their fears so they could actually see themselves and others as connected.

Whatever it is, I like it. I believe we are all naturally kind and are wanting connection. We want to know we're not alone and that others care about us. Naturally, when we let down our guard and our fears, the best parts of us can be seen. Those parts that feel good, like being kind, gentle, understanding, patient, joyful and generous then spread to others and on it goes, at least until January 2nd. Once the new year rings in, it seems that many people re-erect their walls to hide behind and resume gathering evidence why it is not safe to trust.

Imagine what our world would be like if we all practiced putting our fears aside all year long and actually showed we cared about each other on a regular basis.

Without question, there would surely be peace on earth. Anyone willing to give it a shot?

A New Love

I have a new love in my life and am thoroughly enjoying his friendship. We're the perfect match. It almost seems like he knows what I'm thinking. He certainly knows what I need, and he meets my needs perfectly.

I love how quickly he responds to my commands. Actually, command is a pretty strong word, so perhaps I should say that he is quick to respond to my requests. Our relationship is more of a cooperative venture. He's fast too.....as though he is so anxious to please me as quickly as possible so I won't walk away. I get the sense he enjoys me as much as I enjoy him.

There are many things we're learning about each other's habits and idiosyncrasies, yet I don't feel scared or worried that it may not work out. I see it simply as a getting-to-know-you kind of learning curve. We're being patient with one another and feeling more connected every day.

Did I mention his sensitivity? Oh, my....I barely have to touch him and he gets into action. He has a great mind too.....and a sense of humor. The littlest act is done with a flare that makes me smile. There are also some mysterious qualities about him that I know are "in there", but haven't seen them yet. I'm sure they will all be exposed in due time....when I am ready.

I believe we will be together for a long time. His name? It's Mac Pro and he comes from the Apple family. Maybe you've heard of them...they are all over the world, making people's lives easier and more enjoyable.

This match? It was made in heaven. I just wonder why I didn't make this commitment earlier.

Gratitude...The Path to Joy

Our company just left, the kitchen is cleaned, the antique china has been put away and all of the Thanksgiving leftovers have been stored for future meals. As I sit here looking at this picture, I have a renewed and deeper sense of gratitude.

The path my thoughts are traveling right now is about the connection between gratitude and joy. When I truly tune into how blessed I am in so many ways and feel the abundance of life around me, I cannot help but feel joyful. Try it sometime when you're feeling angry or upset.....just focus deeply on something for which you are grateful. You cannot feel negative emotion and gratitude at the same time.

Many of us, although we enjoy abundance in life of things like food, clothing and homes with heat, still focus on what is missing. We complain about the cost of living, yet we want more. We want bigger houses, bigger bank accounts, fancier cars and create misery for ourselves as we complain. When we focus on lack, we feel lack and associated disappointment, sadness and even anger. When we focus on the many every day blessings we enjoy, we feel joy.

I imagine the young man in this picture is grateful for his dog, his last meal and the handful of dog food on the sidewalk beside him. Without knowing this man's story, I would bet that more than anything he is grateful for the love of his dog.

What are you most grateful for right now?

The Closed Door

Recently, I had reached out to support a friend, but it seemed that the door to their heart was closed. They refused my offerings. I first noticed a sadness within myself that they were choosing to suffer alone, knowing how much I cared and could possibly help them feel loved and supported again.

As I thought about the dynamics of this closed door scenario, I realized sometimes I am the one inside, with the door bolted shut...other times, I am the one that knocks offering love and support. With my experience in both places, this is what I have learned.

Behind the Door:
Whatever the circumstances that may cause someone to go inside, close the door to their heart and lock it, you can pretty much bet that fear in some shape or form is involved. When we're afraid, things always look worse than what they really are. In a state of fear, we are also hypersensitive about possibly being a problem for someone else. Perhaps we don't want anyone to see us hurting, in fear that there would be associated judgment. We don't want to appear weak, out of control, vulnerable and helpless. Another factor that may be present is not even knowing what exactly is causing our feelings that are causing us to hide in the first place, creating confusion and yes, even more fear.

Outside the Door:
When we care about someone we love that appears to be hurting and not letting us in, we naturally approach them with open arms and a heart full of love. We knock on the door of our friend's heart and wait outside.....sometimes patiently, sometimes not....wanting to be allowed in. After all, their best interest is our concern. We believe without question that our loving care is just what is needed.

Sometimes it is....sometimes it is not. The truth is one cannot predict the perfect course or pattern for being supportive. I believe the best way to show that you care is to let the person know you're available to listen, or for any other supportive actions, remembering it is not your role to solve their problem. If it is clear they are not comfortable and desiring to talk at that time, keep your offer open in the event they are ready to let you in later.

I have learned in the past that allowing others to have their own experience of life, without trying to break down their door and coming to the rescue is typically best. What I know about myself is the more peace I feel, the more calm and loving I remain. The greater the level of my peace and love, the greater chance there is of someone trusting me enough to eventually open their door.

Making Peace With Abundance

I had an epiphany today about abundance. I noticed I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with the abundance of opportunities in my life and how I can deal with it "all".

I realized I cannot read all the books that are recommended to me. I can't read every blog or listen to every album. I can't follow up with every lead for my business. I can't have an intimate conversation with every friend. I can't meet every stranger. I can't prepare every recipe that comes to me. I can't watch every t.v. show that is listed on my DVR. I can't thoroughly read every magazine or respond to every post on facebook and Twitter. I can't see every play or go to every concert. I can't blog about every epiphany. At least, I can't do it all today.

My epiphanous (I made up that word) answer to this overwhelming list of possibilities is to be fully present with whatever is at the top of my list right now. I must accept that I can only be fully present to one task, one source of entertainment or one person at a time. It is only then that I can more fully enjoy that which is before me, knowing that the next moment, day, year or decade will offer me more space to fill with the abundance of blessings that are available.

Seeing my life as a container in which an endless number of experiences can accumulate, feels good and right to me. It enhances my joy and my sense of peace to know that every morsel of life that I choose to give my attention is exactly what I need in that moment. Everything else? It can all wait until I'm ready.

The Influencers

Look around, and you will find influencers everywhere. Influencers can be people you know well or can be complete strangers. They can come in groups or can be individuals. Sometimes influencers have a specific impact they are consciously trying to create. Other times, they are oblivious to the influence they're having. In some cases, it is situations that are the influencers.

In every case when one influences another, there will always be an effect. I've decided to be vigilant regarding the people and situations that influence me so that I can be more likely to experience positive effects.

When we watch television, there are innumerable influences that we are subject to. Some influencers are seeking to create fear (watch the news shows); others want to create lightness and laughter; some influencers want to educate and empower, and some simply want to shock us or create doubt in something we had previously believed.

The people we come in contact with every day, like friends, family and co-workers, also influence us. We can be hurt, angered, inspired or stimulated. We can be annoyed and influenced to complain and spread negative energy and pass on the influence we just received, or we can be softened and touched by an influencer and then go on and share that. We can be amused or insulted, challenged or seduced. We can feel better or feel worse than we did prior to the influence.

There's no way to completely avoid influencers. In fact, we all belong to the club. We influence and we are influenced.

As I thought about those that influence me most, I realized that I purposely seek exposure to those whose influence brings out the best in me. I seek the influence of those that create trust and do not focus on building my fears or creating new ones.

When I am tuned in and alert, I feel a negative influence rather quickly. Once I'm aware I can then decide to hang around or not. I can choose to seek the company of a more positive influencer instead, or just turn off my radio signal that receives what is being sent. By the same token, when I am aware of the influence I am creating, I am more careful with what I say and how I behave.

It is mighty empowering to realize that I need not be victimized by influeners and that I can control my exposure. It is also gratifying to know that my influence can be more positive by simply remembering I am influencing.

So, what influencers have been affecting you lately?

Imaginary Conversation

Yesterday, I discovered a new tool for finding my way back to peace. It was to have an imaginary conversation.

A few days ago, I had an interaction with a stranger that left me feeling ill at ease. I know I entered the encounter not feeling at my best and at the end, I felt worse. Unfortunately, this interaction was not with someone close to me, so it was not going to be easy to go back and clear things up with him.

When I noticed I kept on thinking about the interaction, I realized although I believed it would have been better if he apologized for his dog aggressively coming after mine, perhaps there was more going on for him that I didn't understand.

In my imaginary conversation, I sat down on the front steps of the home this man was building and where he let his dog run free. I asked him why he allowed his dog to run, knowing that he frequently goes after people or animals walking along the road. The dog owner told me that they are a team and that where he goes, his dog goes. In essence, they're partners. I was able to soon see that the relationship with his dog had some special meaning for him. I felt my annoyance subside and my compassion grow.

He assured me that his dog is not mean, although he does have a tendency to sometimes protect the area where his master is working. In my imaginary conversation, once he saw I was no longer angry, he opened up even more and shared that his wife recently left him and took their children with her, and now only his dog remains in his life.

In this imaginary conversation, my heart softened. I no longer felt angry or resentful. In fact, I felt love for this stranger. I understood that his behavior at the time did not clearly give me clues to the pain and fear he was feeling when our interaction occurred.

In our imaginary conversation, I also got to share what I was feeling at the time. My new friend understood my fear and took my hand to comfort me.

Together, two strangers, sat in my imagination and made peace after sharing what we were both feeling. We didn't attack, defend or blame. We listened and understood.

Although this conversation was imaginary, the feeling of peace, understanding and even love was real. I no longer hold resentment or anger for this man. I have forgiven him..... I forgive myself too for not being very understanding at the time . You see, both of us were in a state of fear when we met, so we were unable (at the time) to see beyond our own egos. Instead we attacked, both taking our righteous stand at making the other wrong.

What I am very grateful for is that even though I may never have the opportunity to speak to this man in a real conversation, the imaginary one in my mind restored my peace and the knowing that there is always more going on in any situation than what may appear to be.