Thursday, July 4, 2013

My Heart's Stress Test

There has been some concern about the health of my heart after I experienced a couple episodes of chest pain last week. I'm extremely healthy, with no prior history of any problems and was surprised to be awakened in the middle of the night with sternal pain. If I hadn't just walked ten miles two days before, I may have overlooked the episode. Instead, I told my Doc, who ordered a nuclear stress test, so he could sleep better. 

Although, the official findings have not come back, the unofficial results have been reported below:

This sixty year old healthy, white female presented for her stress test on orders of her doctor. She noted the most stressful part of the procedure was going without coffee and chocolate for 24 hours prior to the test, and without food for eight hours. 

The test proved to be uneventful and routine even though she was not in charge of setting the speed or level of incline of the treadmill.  

An I.V. and wires were attached to the patient and she happily took off for her make believe hilly trek, while the physician, students and technicians looked on, watching the monitors and commenting on the heart's S-T segments, causing Kate to feel a bit like a lab rat in a laboratory. 

A short time into the procedure, it became clear that this subject's heart was quite large....not in a bad way, but in a way that has obviously allowed itself to be touched. There was also evidence that this big heart has reached out to touch many others. 

This heart also showed significant signs of healing from previous episodes of being broken. It was warm and soft and surrounded with bubbles, which were apparently secondary to a history of numerous joyful experiences. 

There were chambers filled with happiness and some with sadness, all of which showed signs of being cracked open many times in the past, allowing for all that it contained to be fully felt. 

The heart beat was strong and regular, with a bit of a jazz rhythm to it. (Nice to listen to and easy to dance to). 

There were some areas of mushiness....apparently secondary to watching quite a few You-Tube videos of dogs being rescued and kittens being cuddled by babies, as well as some touching marriage proposals. 

Although 60 years old, this heart specimen was quite young in appearance and opened easily when new experiences and people were introduced to it. 

Overall, this heart shows itself to be extremely healthy and resilient and is expected to continue to beat regularly until it stops. . . hopefully a long, long, time from now. 

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