Thursday, February 12, 2009

When, What, Where, Why....and Who?

In our process of life we have many questions. There is much we don't understand. Our questions begin with when, what, where, why and sometimes who.

We have a life long hunger for understanding and yet we typically do not feel satisfied. When we don't feel satisfied, we ask again, perhaps changing our questions slightly. We ask and ask, sometimes getting frustrated and then we ask about our frustration. If only we could get the answers we were wanting....or any answer for that matter.

The truth is, all of our questions are answered. What is missing from our experience is being still and silent enough to hear. We may not hear a voice telling us exactly what we should do next, but we will receive a quiet, gentle reassuring message that all is well. When we feel the safety and freedom of love, we can then be inspired, guided and directed in whatever way will best serve us.

When we allow our minds to quiet, we can tap into a loving voice that resides in us always. Some call this voice God, Divine inspiration, your inner spirit or the intuition of your soul.

I encourage you to be still. Quiet your mind, relax into the gentleness of eternal love and then be open to receive. When the questions cease, when the resistance is gone, the answers will be known.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hands Off

One of the greatest challenges in life, I believe, is to give up control of directing the life of someone you love. We may believe we have a right to force our opinions and control an outcome, but in truth we don't, unless of course it is a child not yet of an adult age.

Some of the more significant life situations we often believe we know best are regarding relationships, jobs, schools and places to live. Of course, being the loving, caring beings that we are, we may also want to have a say in some of the lesser important things like clothing choices, the best foods to eat, exercise, hairstyles and medical related questions. This list can go on, but I think you get the picture.

We (humans) get hooked into wanting to and sometimes actually attempting to take control of those we love and feel justified by our actions. After all, we are the loving child of or parents and siblings....or the devoted parent to our children. We are also the deeply caring friend, co-worker, neighbor, coach, pastor, employer to many.

The Hands Off warning in the title of this blog is made with intent to honor the people in your life for whom you want to manage their decisions, and also for you.

Attempting to be in control of what happens is like playing with dynamite. If it blows up, everyone gets hurt. The true loving response when in relationship is to allow those we care about to make their own decisions. We can give opinions, be supportive and unconditionally loving without attachment. When, on the other hand, we are attached to a particular outcome and are trying to strong arm our loved one into following our design, then the room for explosions, which could create long term damage, is inevitable.

Allowing everyone to have their own experience in life, even when they are going against our suggestions creates peace. Maybe their choice will be best, maybe not. If their choice gets them into trouble, then there was a lesson there for them to learn.

The bottom line is that having a hands off policy when it comes to directing another life is bound to create peace for everyone when you can finally let go.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Every day we are exposed to the creativity, thoughts and actions of other people and situations. If we are well aligned with ourselves and not operating from ego, we will be inspired by what we see. On the other hand, if our ego is driving the bus of our lives, we are likely to be jealous or resentful when we witness the happenings and creations going on around us.

I've been in both camps, spirit and ego, and it is much more joy-filled to be in the spirit camp where I can be inspired by the choices, actions and creations of another person. One of my secret tricks for keeping myself in a "feel good" mode, is to be open to, and actually even look for the high points of other people's lives. Seeing what is possible for someone else, reminds me the same is true for me.

When I am truly seeing through the eyes of spirit, I can see that whatever was created was because that individual was tuned into a state of belief and openness. In the past, that would hook me (since I wasn't experiencing the same thing). Now, I can celebrate it and know that inspiration and some follow up action and results are available to me as well.

When I see my fellow humans as equal to me, not better...not worse, I can imagine that whatever I am witnessing as far as leaving a positive mark on the world, is also there for me. If I see myself as less-than, the result will be playing small, dull and without much fun. It is like having a hole in your rowboat and slowly sinking, while others skim along the waters having great fun along the way.

Knowing it is not the destination that is the most important, but the ride that counts, I am inspired to live my life with great anticipation, joy and gratitude.

With that, I can't lose....either can you!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Spiritual Maintenance

I relearned something today. I learned that when my life and spirit feel fragmented and I lose my solid footing, I need to be re-glued. My spirit needs maintenance.

Re-gluing for me means putting myself back together so that I feel solid and peaceful at the same time. It also means I get my head put on straight, so I can see more clearly and confusion or uneasiness is no longer the predominant sense.

There are many different things that can create a scatteredness or fragmentation in life. In this case, I was traveling (two trips in close proximity without much time to re-ground in between) and away from my usual routine.

I knew my spiritual routine of inspirational reading, stillness, reflection, writing and prayer was what filled me and left me feeling peaceful and accepting. I guess what I forgot was that this daily practice is the glue that keeps me together.

In addition to not following my usual spiritual practice, I was also not always eating the most nutritious food and not exercising as much. My household responsibilities, bill paying, emails etc. were also mounting in my absence and have all needed attention at the same time when I returned home, adding to the feelings of my life temporairlily no longer being controlled.

It is ironic that I would speak of having control in the same context as being spiritually glued since true acceptance accepts whatever is present, not just when everything is caught up.

At this point, the pieces of me are coming together one by one. I can tell by how I feel. My growing edge is to be more aware of any parts of me getting loose or displaced, so greater attention can be made to keeping me solidly put together.

It feels good to be back.