Sunday, May 3, 2009
I am a dreamer. I dream while awake and when I sleep. I had a couple of dreams in the last week or so that one would expect would be very frightening, and possibly even qualify as nightmares. I was pleased to awaken from these dreams noticing I had no fear as the stories unfolded.
The first fearless dreaming episode was a situation where I was working as a civilian CIA agent ( similar to the T.V. show, Chuck). I was in a very dangerous position with the "bad guys" chasing me. I didn't have a gun, only my wits.....that alone should have scared me. As I ran, hid, and swung from curtains, I noticed in the dream, I had no fear....not one little bit. It was almost as if I knew it was a dream and I could not be harmed.
In another dream a few nights later, I was in my home, which was bigger and higher than it really is, with walls of windows. As I looked out the back, I saw thousands of people gathered for a party I was having. For a moment, I had concern about only having two bathrooms, and that I really should have ordered some port-a-potties. When I turned my head and looked out the side window, I saw a million black birds sweep across the sky. I was amazed at the site and unafraid, even though the movie The Birds kept me ducking for years when I saw a black bird. The apparent reason for this swarm of birds was that they were being chased by a tornado. Instead of running for cover, I stood and watched as it came closer, amazed at this force of nature. Just as the tornado was about to touch on my house, it fizzled out.
I was very pleased when I awoke from both dreams that I was able to meet the situations fearlessly since that is just how I want to be living my life. For me to live in a fearless state, I work on remembering that life is like a dream too. Ultimately, I cannot be harmed. My body can be, but the spirit of me is forever safe.
I realize I have a lot of practice to do in making this concept really stick since sometimes my awake dreams of living the life I want make me gasp in fear of how big life can be.
I don't know about you, but I'm willing to allow my dreams to recur, reminding me that life will always be as big, and as grand, and joy-filled as I allow it to be .