Since the first season of the television show, Amazing Race, I have been dreaming about being a contestant. It's not that I care about winning a million dollars, although I would gratefully accept the prize if I won. I'm not even very competitive..... it's just that I thought it would be a challenge I could meet, without losing myself in the process.
For several years, I interviewed friends and relatives as prospective partners for this adventure. I have been seeking a partner that had a good sense of direction (since that is not one of my gifts) and someone that would not yell at me when I made a mistake. My contribution to the partnership would be doing any of the dare devil stunts since I'm not afraid of heights and love a thrill. I narrowed down my search to three people that fit the bill as a partner.
After enjoying my dreaming process for five years, it suddenly fizzled up in smoke a few weeks ago. I was in the midst of a 12 day business trip which held various challenges. I was holding up well and maintaining a positive attitude until I went without my usual eight hours of sleep three days in a row. I flew from the West coast to the East and back again in a three day period.
The demise of this dream became apparent as I was trudging through the Charleston airport at 4:30 a.m. I felt like a rag doll that went through the spin cycle and lived to tell about it. There was no joy within and I found no humor in my business partner's jibes. Obviously, if I couldn't handle cross country travel, jetting from continent to continent days apart would not be my thing. I couldn't believe it that a dream that gave me so much joy was gone and gone for good.
As I now look back on my dreaming process, I don't regret it at all. The reason for this is that I had great fun in the dreaming, planning, and imagining how I would show up in the challenging situations the contestants face.
Although it is clear to me now that I require regular meals, healthy snacks, rest and luxury accommodations when I travel in order to maintain a joyful attitude, the dreaming process of racing around the world was clearly and thoroughly enjoyable.
As in so much we live in life, it is enjoying the process that matters.....even when it comes to dreaming.