Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Looking Fear in the Eye

At any given time all of us are faced with situations that make us cringe in fear. We often lose any sense of grounding simply by thinking about that which we fear most. When we come unglued due to fear, we can lose all sense of who we really are and react from ego, rather than respond from spirit. If we look fear in the eye, we can learn what's really going on.

I heard a story related today that was a refreshing change from running away from whatever it is causing a fearful reaction. This person took a deep breath and stepped into a potential confrontation with authenticity after looking her fear in the eye. Rather than pretending to be unaffected in this potential struggle for power, she admitted to her discomfort. Her authentic expression of vulnerability invited her adversary to do the same. What could have been a screaming match of two people in fear, turned out to be a peaceful conversation and collaboration to a solution that was acceptable to both parties.

Imagine how your personal level of peace could be heightened if you took stock of your own fears at any given moment. I speak of fear as being the foundation for any emotion that is not of the peaceful emotional category.

If we are angry, there is a fear we will lose something or might not get our way. We can be fearful of how we'll look or what people may say about us. If we're jealous, we may be afraid of losing someone from our life, or not having enough stuff compared to others. If we're resentful, our fears may be about being taken advantage of or mistreated. The bottom line is if we react in any way other than with love, kindness or peace, we're scared. If we're scared, we will not be showing up at our best.

So, if you'd like to experiment with this concept, notice every time you feel the inclination to raise your voice, blame someone or voice a complaint. Check in with yourself to see what you may be afraid of losing. I also suggest you notice how that emotional fear based state feels. If you don't like the feeling, take a deep breath and respond rather than react.

Awareness of your fear does not mean you allow the world to walk all over you. On the contrary, what I am suggesting will occur, is that you will no longer be giving away your peace to anyone that crosses you, but will stay grounded, authentic and even more powerful to voice your needs and desires.

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