War or Peace....You Get to Choose

I have a perpetual calender that I check out everyday. Some messages resonate with me very strongly. Some don't. Today's quote has stayed with me all day. The message was "We will never know peace while using our mind to attack". (Hugh Prather)

What I love about this statement is that it is so empowering. I love knowing I have control. I may not have control over the words or actions of other people; or over the weather; or the presidential campaign ads; or traffic, but I do have control over my thoughts.

Something that has become very important to me is feeling peaceful. To me peace is not at odds with anything. Peace for me is...acceptance.....unconditional happiness....There is no resistance to what "is" and no attack of what "is".

If I have attack thoughts, I might be blaming or condemning. I would likely be speaking in my mind to some injustice. I'd very likely be angry. Perhaps I would feel justified in my attack, yet justified or not, I would sacrifice having peace as I entertained my attack thoughts.

You may be reading this and thinking "It's good to get angry at injustices, how else could change take place?" My response is that there's another way to create positive change. Rather than attacking that which you are against, peacefully stand for that which you are for. Mother Theresa practiced this way of being and made a huge difference in the world with this practice.

So, I have a long way to go to be living as Mother Theresa did , yet I realize there is much more peace present in my life now, than there was a few years ago. Like everything worth accomplishing, it takes practice. If you're interested in feeling peace more of the time, I suggest you keep it easy....paying attention to one thought at a time. If your thought does not bring peace, think again.

LOL

I recently learned what the acronym of LOL meant. I would see it periodically in emails and just didn't understand what it stood for. Finally, I asked someone. I'm not a text messenger, nor am I an instant messenger and my online chat experience is minimal, so LOL somehow got by my internal processor.

Learning that LOL meant Laugh Out Loud did exactly that....it made me laugh. You see, laughing is one of my favorite things to do. I'm good at it. I believe we all have a variety of unique gifts and laughing is one of mine. Some people are good at math, or singing, or riding a unicycle. I have a gift for laughter.

My style of laughter is BIG. I tend not to hold back. My laughter is loud, long and cannot be restricted. I laugh at places where one would typically not laugh....you know what I mean.....places where most people are being very serious. I don't mean to be disrespectful, it's just that if something strikes me funny, I laugh. I also laugh easily when someone is intending to be funny. Many performers from Hamilton-Gibson Productions, our local theater company, tell me that they can pick my laugh out of the crowd.

I also know part of the gift of laughter (mine and everyone else's) is that it is contagious. If we are open to having our funny bone tickled, then being in the vicinity of a grand laugh will inevitably light a spark in you.

So, I ask you now...."Have you laughed out loud today?" If not, I encourage you to find something or someone that can stimulate a laugh for you. If you have, try it again. Share your laughter with someone you care about. Watch the magic that happens when laughter is in the air.

The Gift in a Dream

Every once in awhile, I have a particularly lucid dream that has a beautiful message. Last night I had one of those dreams.

The setting was a River Boat. The situation was a travel adventure styled race that was similar to the Amazing Race, a current popular television show. I was a participant in this race.

What I found to be very interesting was that I was not anxious, nervous or frightened of what I would be asked to do. I was also not alone. There was a team of people that were there to help me.

At one point, one of my team members announced that a gift just arrived for me. It was a large square box, about 2ft wide. I immediately noticed Kate written all over the box as if to be extra sure I knew it was for me. I can remember the delight I felt when I saw it. I also noticed that on the brown paper that wrapped the box there were numerous hand painted pictures of beautiful places. The only one I recognized was the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon, located near where I live.

What is staying with me since I awoke was the joy I felt when I saw this package. I was delighted as I looked at all of the small paintings, and was so touched that someone took the time to do this for me.

What I found very interesting was that I was not feeling compelled to rip open the paper and open the box. The outside was plenty for me to take in and enjoy.

The overall feeling of the experience was one of pure peace and joy. When I awoke, the meaning of it all came to me quickly. The main message was to enjoy every step of the journey. Appreciate it all. Take it in and be grateful. Don't rush to get to the finish and see what's in the box. Sometimes it is enjoying the wrapping, and then the process of unwrapping that is the greatest gift.

Another component of the dream that held meaning for me was travel (I love to explore new places); another was the calmness I felt even though it was called a race; another was the team of people I had surrounding me. I knew I was not alone.

So, I take my lessons into the light of day and plan on applying them. I will appreciate every moment as a gift, appreciate the kindness people share with me and appreciate all those that surround me with love.

The GPS for Life

It has been nearly a week since I've entered a blog piece. Life has seemingly been on a different road than the usual one I travel. I spent almost a week in Minnesota for work and pleasure. Now that I've been home for a few days it feels like I am able to catch up with myself.

Sometimes due to the situations and happenings of life, we can get lost and it may take awhile to find our way back to the path we most want to travel. When that happens I check in with my inner GPS.

When I use a portable GPS system in my car I often think about the same concept as a guidance system for my life. My car's GPS has a name.....Ozzie. Ozzie has an Australian accent and is always patient with me when I make a wrong turn, get delayed or even lost. He never gets angry or yells at me. Although he knows the best way for me to travel to get to my destination, I sometimes turn off early or at the wrong intersection, taking me off course. When I do make an un-programmed turn, Ozzie simply says "Recalculating......." and then gives new directions from wherever I am in that moment.

What I love about Ozzie is that he knows even though I'm taking a different route, I can still make it to my destination. There is no judgment, guilt, blame or shame, just a pause and a new start. There is no projection of fear, no explosions in anger and no disappointment. There's simply only acceptance of what "is" and a suggestion for where to go now.

Imagine living your life that way. Let's say you're on your way to a goal and you get distracted. You take an unanticipated turn in a different direction. Instead of beating yourself up for this change in direction, you have a choice to ride it out or tune into your inner guidance and choose again. Your inner GPS does not get angry with you, blame you or become impatient. It reminds you of perhaps the quickest way, but not necessarily the most scenic or the most interesting. Taking a temporary alternate route or even changing your direction completely is treated as an adventure worth exploring, regardless of the length of the time it takes in getting there. You get to choose. The GPS is there to assist you, not to insist you follow its direction.

As long as we hold the perspective of enjoying the ride, whatever twists turns and unexpected explorations we make, the road of life can always be a JOY!

Making a Birthday Happy

Birthdays have always been a big deal for me. I happen to love special attention although I try not to expect a lot. A heart felt acknowledgment of my placement in life means a lot to me. Extravagant gifts or big parties are not a must. I also don't expect gifts or cards. You see, I have been down the road of birthday expectations and have been disappointed when the people I know love and care for me, might forget.

So, here's how I deal with that question of making a birthday happy these days. I aim to not put the value of the day on someone elses shoulders, or give them the responsibility of making it a happy day. It is my intention to find the happy within me, not outside me. How I manage that is by taking stock of who I am, what I have learned in the past year and where I am headed. I focus on loving me unconditionally. I also celebrate by doing the same number of abdominal crunches as my age. You see, these are all gifts and they all fit. Having access to make myself feel good is liberating....and I like that very much.

So where does that leave the loved ones in my life? When I manage to stay in that place of no expectation, then anything that happens or comes my way for my birthday is a surprise.... and I love surprises.

Today is that day of happy-making, birthday celebrating for me. So far, I have had a leisurely day in rainy Minnesota preparing to co-lead a workshop this evening. I have done my meditation, journaling, 2 1/2 miles on the treadmill and 56 crunches. I have been surprised by a mysterious singer of Happy Birthday on my cell phone, a couple of fun emails and a sweet card from a good friend. I already feel full....so anything else that happens will be icing on the cake.....not that I expect a cake.

The Oak Tree Perspective

I am writing this post in Albert Lea, Minnesota. I'm here to co-lead three workshops with my colleague, David Larson. David and his wife Carol are wonderful hosts. They live in a lovely home on a hill overlooking Fountain Lake. I visit here several times a year and stay in a guest room facing the water.

Just outside my window is a huge sprawling oak tree that must have been extending its roots for over a century. There are numerous other trees that surround the house, set on a hill creating a beautiful view of the lake below. The setting creates a feel of being in a tree house. Just for fun, I imagined if this oak tree outside my window could speak, what would it say? What would be its perspective of the world? It would have witnessed many changes over the years ....how has it dealt with it all?

Certainly the environment has changed significantly over the past century. The area gradually grew with homes being built over the years. What was once wilderness is now a thriving community. Residents of nearby homes come and go. The community has grown in population. The issues of the world have been many. Weather has sometimes been serene and at other times stormy.

Obviously this beautiful massive Oak has survived all of the changes. It has not only survived, but has grown over time. Although the world around this tree has changed, what the tree is, has not. In fact, the more it witnesses and lives through in this world, the stronger it gets. In spite of the changes that surround it, one thing remains the same. The Oak is still an oak. It is still beautiful, graceful and strong as it has always been. I imagine if this tree would speak, it would say "Just be. The changes around you do not determine who you are".

So, I am going to borrow this perspective from the Great Oak outside my window. I choose to stay strong in who I am, regardless of the changes, sunshine or storms, that go on around me.

The Hidden Blessings

I spent the entire day yesterday traveling. My well planned itinerary looked perfect on paper as well as in my mind. I was traveling from Wellsboro to Minneapolis. I've made this trip many times, mostly without incident or delays. Yesterday was different.

Now perhaps I had something to do with this unexpected turn of events. When I awoke, I said a prayer of gratitude for this trip I was to take and asked for some joyful adventures to fill my day. Although being stuck on the ground (in the plane) due to fog for an extended time, which caused me to miss my connecting flight in Philadelphia, and then more delays in Philadelphia and eventual re-routing via a different airline in another terminal of the airport, and lost luggage, I did have a day filled with adventure and blessings.

The adventures had to do with some of the logistic and physical maneuvering required of me to negotiate an alternative plan. I was eventually successful in finding a way to get me to my destination. The hidden blessings throughout the day turned out to be people I met along the way.

I have made it a practice to accept "what is" and look for something to appreciate in every situation. Although there are times, I cannot find a single thing to be grateful for, yesterday was a day that I had great success. In doing this, I typically seek to create conversation with other people. Airplanes and airports are the perfect setting for creating conversation with interesting people. I find if I can get interested in someone else, I tend to forget about whatever it was that was bothering me. Each step of the trip, I was able to make some lovely connections.

So although my day did not go as planned via my mind or my printed itinerary, it was definitely filled with many adventures and blessings. The blessing for which I am most grateful is that the day of mishaps did not affect my ability to be joyful.