The Dream Evolution

For many years I have had a recurrent dream. The main theme has been constant, although the general feel of it and the outcome has gradually evolved. Last night, this dream evolved, once again.

The setting for this dream is a school. I could never really tell what kind of school, but it definitely was a place of higher education.

When I was a young girl, this dream, which was actually more of a nightmare, was very unsettling. The bell would ring and I wandered the halls, not knowing where to go. I feared I would get in trouble for missing class and that I would fall behind in my lessons. Everyone else was very busy and intent on making it to their own classes and refused to help me, so I felt alone and lost. This theme recurred for many years.

Approximately ten years ago, the feel of the dream changed. The bell would ring and I still did not know where my classroom was, although I was no longer afraid. I felt perfectly calm as I walked around the myriad of hallways, without attachment to ever finding my classroom. At this stage the dream evolved from nightmare status to just a dream.

Last night, this dream evolved once again. The bell rang and although I didn't know right where to go, I found my classroom quickly and easily. I'm not sure how I knew, I just did. It was almost as if I tuned into my personal GPS system and found my way without hesitation.

So, what does this all mean? Although I am not a dream interpretation expert it seems this dream's evolution matches my experience of learning in the school of life.

When I was a young woman, I was very much afraid of missing out, being late and getting into trouble. This perspective was limiting, created self doubt, inner turmoil and was not very fulfilling. As I matured emotionally and spiritually, the next phase of the dream when I was okay with being lost, paralleled an acceptance of being where I was. I was no longer in fear of what others thought or would say and I had no fear of falling behind in my studies. I also did not rely on someone else to take me to my classroom, or to save me.

I celebrate the latest version of my dream since I believe it is a signal that I am finally learning that my direction in life is within me, not outside me. There is nothing to fear, I am never really lost, and I always know wherever I go, whatever choices I make, I will learn. The greatest lesson for me is to trust. When I simply tune into my inner guidance, I will find my way.

My sense is that this dream theme is not complete since the learning in life is never done. Stay tuned for the next stage of this dream's evolution.

The Big Bang

Yesterday, while enjoying my peaceful morning routine, I was startled by a big bang. I suppose I could actually call it an explosion. At any rate, it woke me up, and I realized how I sometimes sleep, even when my eyes are open.

The explosion involved an egg and my microwave. A favorite breakfast of mine is a poached egg, which typically takes 45 seconds to cook and then served on a multi-grain English muffin. Simple, quick and delicious.

Somehow, my peaceful and predictable routine went off course. I don't know if I miss-timed the microwave, or if my egg was smaller than usual, but something did not go as planned. The loud bang of the egg blowing apart and sticking to all sides of the microwave made me wonder what warnings I missed. When I am awake and present, I typically hear a subtle sound that indicates the egg is done and to stop the cooking. I missed it and am not sure where my mind was when I was missing it.

In my typical fashion, I looked at the Big Bang incident as a sign for living my life in a better way. These are the lessons I have made up from the experience:

• I am always better off if I stay present...tuned in and noticing what is going on around me. This lesson, of course, does not apply when meditating. At that time, I go inside and tune out all that surrounds me. (I never cook eggs while meditating).

• Sometimes I need a "shake up". I can fall into routines of what I do and how I think. My kitchen explosion reminded me to mix up my experiences and to do so with intention and a certain level of wakefulness and presence.

• Clean up all messes that occur in your life as soon as possible (these messes include relationships). When left unattended, most messes (like egg) will harden requiring more time, sweat and tears (literally) to get things looking and feeling good again.

I'm grateful for my learning and vow to be more present more of the time. I also intend to have a smoothie for breakfast occasionally....no risk of explosions.

BeLoved

A friend gave me the gift of this shirt seen in the photo several years ago. She knew me well at the time and knew I would love it. She was right. I have worn the shirt too many times to count. Each time I wear it, I feel it's meaning, which is actually a double meaning.

Sometimes I see that the message says "Be loved", which can be the perfect reminder that I must allow myself to "be loved", or in other words keep the door open to my heart, so I can feel love. What is necessary to feel love is to know that I am lovable beyond conditions. Whether I have made any recent errors in judgment, caused any problems, or just didn't do enough in that particular day, I am lovable. I love feeling lovable, by the way....it brings out the best in me.

Sometimes I see that the message says "Beloved" and that is a beautiful reminder for me to focus on sending love. Looking at those around me as Beloved Ones creates a softness..... a peacefulness inside me that feels right and natural. Aren't we all Beloved souls? Must we judge ourselves as being lovable or not?

It makes me wonder what the world would be like if we all wore Be loved shirts every day. Maybe we all just need a reminder of how much we're loved and if we knew that, how much more we would love others (without condition, of course).

The State of Wait

I had an epiphany early this morning when I was feeling a bit "off " from my usual state of being in a happy groove. I realized it was because I was waiting for something to happen. What I have been waiting for doesn't really matter since waiting in general (at least for me) never carries any joy with it.

When I am in a State of Wait, it's almost as if my joy and wellbeing are on hold waiting for something to happen. I don't know about you, but if there's another way to live, rather than being in a State of Wait, sign me up.

As I continued to ponder this question, I came up with a few alternatives to the State of Wait. The states of faith, trust, positive expectancy and pure unadulterated focused desire without attachment seem like great substitutions.

Perhaps the biggest negative hook associated with waiting is attachment to an occurrence happening just as I have imagined. Sometimes I wait for other people to do what needs to be done, so I can have my way and once again be happy. Handing over my sense of wellbeing to someone else is always risky. Whatever I'm waiting for may not be as important to them as it is to me. Maybe they don't even know I'm waiting.

So, my little epiphany has healed my recent focus of waiting. Now, I choose to be open, trusting, believing and expecting that everything will work out perfectly, even if I don't know what perfect really is.

Socks Without Partners

For some time now, I have experienced a struggle in a compartment of my life....my sock drawer. I have recently been pondering this issue in hopes of understanding how I may be contributing to the problem and how I could perhaps solve it.

The issue on my mind is regarding missing socks....especially black socks. What in the past was only an occasional issue has become a growing and increasing aggravation. You see, each time I do laundry I lose at least one sock. When this first occurred, I was hopeful although not optimistic, the missing sock would return to its mate. As the winter months have passed, however, and the number of socks without partners increases, my hopefulness has faded.

I really love socks and often would invest in designer brands that have a bit of style. In light of the MIA status of my socks, I now pick up plain and inexpensive brands that lack any style. With this prevailing issue and its worsening nature, I am sometimes caused to put two mismatched socks together in a temporary partnership. Hopefully, no one notices.

So, what can I do about this aggravating issue? In my usual way of taking whatever is happening in my life and making a metaphor out of it to look at a bigger picture, I realize that when I expect something to go wrong, it does. When I purchase cheap socks because I know one will be missing next week, it happens.

By the same token, if I am in a state of positive expectancy that things will work out in my favor, they do. Call it faith, trust, intention or the powers of attraction, it works....every time.

I am reminded to be careful where I am putting my focus, for whatever is focused upon, expands. I believe, without question, I am at the root of my sock drawer filled with singles, and I know I can change the tide.

Perhaps the quickly approaching sandal season will give me the chance to clean up my focus, so I can start fresh at the beginning of the next sock season. For now, my socks without partners will have to find a new mate.

The Joy of Dreaming Dreams

Since the first season of the television show, Amazing Race, I have been dreaming about being a contestant. It's not that I care about winning a million dollars, although I would gratefully accept the prize if I won. I'm not even very competitive..... it's just that I thought it would be a challenge I could meet, without losing myself in the process.

For several years, I interviewed friends and relatives as prospective partners for this adventure. I have been seeking a partner that had a good sense of direction (since that is not one of my gifts) and someone that would not yell at me when I made a mistake. My contribution to the partnership would be doing any of the dare devil stunts since I'm not afraid of heights and love a thrill. I narrowed down my search to three people that fit the bill as a partner.

After enjoying my dreaming process for five years, it suddenly fizzled up in smoke a few weeks ago. I was in the midst of a 12 day business trip which held various challenges. I was holding up well and maintaining a positive attitude until I went without my usual eight hours of sleep three days in a row. I flew from the West coast to the East and back again in a three day period.

The demise of this dream became apparent as I was trudging through the Charleston airport at 4:30 a.m. I felt like a rag doll that went through the spin cycle and lived to tell about it. There was no joy within and I found no humor in my business partner's jibes. Obviously, if I couldn't handle cross country travel, jetting from continent to continent days apart would not be my thing. I couldn't believe it that a dream that gave me so much joy was gone and gone for good.

As I now look back on my dreaming process, I don't regret it at all. The reason for this is that I had great fun in the dreaming, planning, and imagining how I would show up in the challenging situations the contestants face.

Although it is clear to me now that I require regular meals, healthy snacks, rest and luxury accommodations when I travel in order to maintain a joyful attitude, the dreaming process of racing around the world was clearly and thoroughly enjoyable.

As in so much we live in life, it is enjoying the process that matters.....even when it comes to dreaming.

Heaven's Greeter

Last week-end, while on retreat amidst the Redwoods of Northern California with my leadership tribe, the Thunderbeings, those of us present had a conversation about the last standing member creating a tribute of some sort for all those that have passed previously.

Several years ago while on another retreat we created a strand of beads that acknowledges all 24 Thunderbeings. Since that time we have mailed the beads from member to member so that we each have part-time stewardship of this representative strand. Part of what we envisioned last week would be that the last member standing would have some sort of memorial for us all using this strand of beads.

Although that sounds like a beautiful ceremony to create if I should be the last member standing, my mind drifted in the other direction. I began to think what fun it would be to welcome my Thunderbeing friends to the other side. You know, kind of like a Wal-Mart greeter with wings.

If I can be a heavenly greeter, I would be keeping my eye peeled for all those that I love that still remained on earth. I wouldn't want to rush their transition, yet I would be very happy to greet them and show them the ropes in Heaven. This would be an important job, especially if the inductee has not experienced bliss on earth. I expect it would be a welcomed site to see someone they know standing at the gate with a big smile, a hug and some kind words of welcome. I suppose those new inductees won't need a cart, since there is nothing to buy, but I expect a map of how to find your way around the clouds would be in order.

I personally always appreciate someone that has already walked a path to guide me when I travel to a new place, both physically and spiritually. It would be an honor to show some new angels the ropes......get then oriented to a new way of being.

For some of my friends, I am sure they would be surprised to find themselves stepping through the pearly gates (there's no need to mention names here....you know who you are). They may need some special attention in helping them to acclimate to a realm of complete and utter love . Others will not be surprised to walk on clouds, since they do it daily in their earthly lives.

The great news about what I expect about being Heaven's Greeter is that all that enter will forget all that was, forgive all that has been and will be open to experiencing complete and unconditional love. Yep, I think I am a good fit for the position since that is what I'm shootin' for on earth. One of my thunder sisters, CJ, is already on duty, I am sure.

So, if you are a friend of mine and even if you are not, I (when my time comes) will take my post at the gate with JOY. If I happen to be your greeter, expect that you will feel loved and filled with peace as we realize without question or doubt that we really are ONE and have always been.