Sunday, February 8, 2009
I relearned something today. I learned that when my life and spirit feel fragmented and I lose my solid footing, I need to be re-glued. My spirit needs maintenance.
Re-gluing for me means putting myself back together so that I feel solid and peaceful at the same time. It also means I get my head put on straight, so I can see more clearly and confusion or uneasiness is no longer the predominant sense.
There are many different things that can create a scatteredness or fragmentation in life. In this case, I was traveling (two trips in close proximity without much time to re-ground in between) and away from my usual routine.
I knew my spiritual routine of inspirational reading, stillness, reflection, writing and prayer was what filled me and left me feeling peaceful and accepting. I guess what I forgot was that this daily practice is the glue that keeps me together.
In addition to not following my usual spiritual practice, I was also not always eating the most nutritious food and not exercising as much. My household responsibilities, bill paying, emails etc. were also mounting in my absence and have all needed attention at the same time when I returned home, adding to the feelings of my life temporairlily no longer being controlled.
It is ironic that I would speak of having control in the same context as being spiritually glued since true acceptance accepts whatever is present, not just when everything is caught up.
At this point, the pieces of me are coming together one by one. I can tell by how I feel. My growing edge is to be more aware of any parts of me getting loose or displaced, so greater attention can be made to keeping me solidly put together.
It feels good to be back.