Monday, August 18, 2008

The Justified Victim

Sometimes things happen in our lives that we don't believe we deserve. Today was one of those days. In fact, it was a double hit. Two seperate, but related incidents that were not fair or respectful of me....that I didn't deserve, occurred back to back, taking me by surprise.

Following the first incident (the specifics don't really matter here), I was able to see beyond what was happening without animosity, only mild annoyance. It came as a surprise and there was nothing I could do but let it happen and move on.

A few minutes later, the same type of incident with another person occurred. This time, I had a wave of "poor me" flash into my mind. Fortunately, I was aware enough in the moment that I was slipping into being the "victim". I was justifiying my victimness.

Two things that were not my fault happened and left me standing alone to pick up the pieces. When I felt my good mood slipping away, I decided it wasn't worth it to wear the "victim" badge on my sleeve. Yes, two people broke their word to me and backed out of a commitment. Others were still depending on me to save a project. I decided to look for a solution rather than wallow in the pool of victimization.

At the time of this writing, most of the sting of the surprise events has left. The choice to not feel bad even though one could justify it, is the one I am making. Feeling good rather than angry, annoyed, hurt and victimized is what I want.

These events today have given me some memorable lessons. For that I am grateful. Victimization never feels good....even when it may seem justifed.

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