Letting Go

Earlier today, I said good-bye, to my son (formerly my baby boy), Alan. I wasn't sending him off to pre-school, Cub Scouts, Track practice or a Motocross race. I sent him off to his home in Massachusetts to pack his belongings and ship off to Army boot camp tomorrow.

When the financial crash struck several months ago, Alan was in the line of fire. He was laid off from his position as a Vintage race car technician. Having time on his hands and no financial compensation seen in the form of unemployment insurance, he began to think creatively about his career options. He decided enlisting in the Army would be a good fit to fill his needs as well as a match for his adventuresome spirit.

Alan has always enjoyed "helping others". His responsibilities on the job protected the lives of the drivers that sat behind the wheels of the cars he had in his care. He kept the preciously expensive race cars functioning safely and had a great time traveling the Vintage race circuit around the country for the past four years.

A close friend reminded me of another time earlier in his life as a little boy, where he declared he was meant to help people. We were working on his First Communion preparation when he suddenly declared he was a lot like Jesus. When I asked how he was like Jesus, he responded, "Jesus always helped people... and I help people". He took the role as the schoolyard patrol, stepping in to protect kids being bullied by the bigger kids.

His desire to help others is still very present. The training Alan will be going into after Basic is to be a Combat Engineer (bomb and landmine defusing).....somebody has to do it....after all.

As a Mom of a now, independent, grown man, I gently let go once again of the baby I once held so close, and pray for him to be safe and happy with wherever his life path takes him.

The Sisterhood

I am blessed with many close friends that truly care about me and what is happening in my life. In fact there is a group of 6 of us that began our journey as a Sisterhood, or actually a Sistaaaaaahood, in late October.

That gathering was held over a long week-end in a charming cottage in the woods. We shared stories of the past, dreams for the future and some wonderful comfort food. We also each wrote a piece in a beautiful leather bound journal that represented our individual experiences. At the conclusion of that special week-end, we set the intention to meet every three months to update one another on each other's status.

Last night was the second installment for our check-ins. As we sat around the table after dinner, one by one, we shared an update on what was present in our lives NOW, what we wanted to create, and what might be getting in our way. It was beautiful to hear and see the gentle, loving support we all gave and received.

Many of us, as we navigate the busyness of life, tend to forge through alone, without the support, encouragement, love, laughter and challenges of people that love us unconditionally. What seems ironic, is that most of us living in today's world experience the same challenges and distractions, and yet we do it alone. I can't help but wonder how much more joy would be present in the world if there were more Sisterhoods and Brotherhoods, supporting one another along the way.

My Sisterhood holds me accountable to step up and truly live the life I say I want to live. I'm glad somebody is keeping track of me. Who's keeping track of you?

The Life Menu

Imagine sitting down in a lovely restaurant and picking up the menu to peruse before deciding what you would like to order. Before ordering, most of us would probably also assess how hungry we are and what would taste good at that current time. Since there is a price for what we order, that may also have some impact on what we choose.

In general, our choice is likely to represent our unique preferences and tastes. If you're dining with someone that loves sushi and you could not imagine eating raw fish yourself, it's not likely you would order it too. If you're not very hungry, you might order less than your dining partners. Maybe you'd always keep your eye tuned for something healthy. Overall, your menu choices would be a reflection of you, individually.....in essence, what you would prefer and enjoy in that moment.

If you can imagine that your life also comes with a menu. It may not come in a book like format, where you turn pages and read the courses, but it is right there in front of all of us everyday. You get to choose that which is best for you based on your distinct preferences. Some choices are far reaching, affecting your life for a long time. Other selections may affect only the the present moment.

Regardless of what it is you choose, I would hope your choice represents your preference. What would taste, smell and feel good for you. Even if you later discover that what you chose was not what you thought it might be, you get to choose again.

Approaching life in this Menu approach keeps us present and conscious of what each choice may create in our life (bitter or sweet) and will always teach us something as well. Interestingly, by choosing the thoughts we think, we are also choosing from the Life menu. Sometimes our thoughts give us a taste of JOY, other times, they make us feel ill.

For me, I love to try things I haven't tried before, so I will be looking for what's new on the menu. I also love the comfort food of life and a sweet and simple dessert that calls me to savor every bite. I try not to eat too fast, so I can fully enjoy each course. Before I eat, I bless the food and after each meal, I give thanks for how it will nourish me.

The Storm's "I"

The Storms of life continue to swirl. We are facing the most serious financial crisis since the Great Depression, our country is at war, unemployment abounds, people all over the world live in fear. If we focus on all that seems to be wrong, or threatened to go wrong, we lose sight of the power each of us holds.

When we remember who we each are....in essence what the qualities are that make us each the "I" of the storm, we are reminded we have all we need to be at peace, no matter what is happening around us.

I understand it is easy to forget (that is if we ever really knew it), yet I can share personally that I know it is possible to not be sucked into the swirl of life's storms, when our focus is made inward. The practice of positive thought and presence can not only change your perspective, it can change your whole experience of life.

It is by being with the peace that resides deep within us, and remembering who we truly are, that we can stay grounded as we look around at all of the stuff of life that seems to be whirling out of control. Remembering we are not the storm, but simply observers of the storm, helps us to better make decisions about our life's course.

When we are in the "I" we respond to life with peace, rather than react with fear.

If you would like to experience this yourself, join me and David Larson for a full day workshop on March 28 th. Early bird registration fee of $100 (including morning muffins and lunch) ends March 1st. Call me for more information or to register at 570-723-1020.

The Team

Imagine that you have a team of supporters that are standing with you, always. Their job is to be "with you" in whatever way will best serve you as you move along the path of life.

• Your team is like cheerleaders that remind you that you can accomplish what it is you want to achieve.
• Your team will console you, love you, and hold you if you need it, when things seem to be too hard to bear.
• Your team does not judge you, get impatient with you, or chastise you for any mistakes you make along the way.
• Your team will help you find the humor in situations that seem way too serious.
• Your team will acknowledge your little steps of improvement as though they are major stepping stones on your path, because they are.
• Your team will listen to you rant, rave, cry or complain and will wait until you are emptied and ready to be filled with love again.
• Your team will love you unconditionally, so you will always know that no matter what, you're safe.
• Your team will hold you accountable to follow through on the things your heart is directing you to do.
• Your team will calm you when you get scared, reminding you that you can never really be harmed.
• Your team will always be there, as your closest allies, no matter what, no matter when, no matter how you may need help.

Imagining this troop of allies as my team, makes me smile. I have many real life people in my life that fit into these roles. I also have a celestial team of supporters that are always on call and give me great comfort.

So, with this large team that is standing by to support me, who is in charge? Who's the team captain? I am. I am happy to lead my team in assisting myself to have a life that is filled with joy and with a minimum of suffering.

You see, my team cannot even step in to assist unless I ask for help. For me to ask for help, I must see myself as worthy of receiving love, support, kindness and help of any kind. Being the captain, and since I am always with me, I can often derail any potential problems before they get too big. I can simply change my thoughts from fear to love. I can remind myself of the truth.

As Team Captain, I am vigilant that I stay centered....and if I forget how, I know my team will help me to remember.....I just need to ask.

What's Important, Really?

When asked what's really important, many of us will list things like family, friends, church, community and health. If we truly believe these things to be most important, then why are we not committed to putting more of our time, energy and attention to them?

For many of us, although we'd like to believe we are committed, we may be fooling ourselves. We often spend more time working than we do enjoying our families. We may not be taking very good care of our health because we don't have time to exercise, have medical check ups or make healthy eating choices. We may say we love our communities, but in fact are not contributing to making our towns, cities or country better places to live. We say our friends are important to us, but we don't have time to spend with them, or even call them.

If we are not honoring and attending to what we say is most important, then what are we doing with our time?

For many, work is the main focus. Perhaps we're believing that if we work harder, it will be the best thing for our families. We tell ourselves that someday we'll get around to getting in better shape, or getting together with friends, or taking part in a community or church event. What may be the truth is that while we are on the treadmill of work, meeting deadlines and pushing ourselves harder and harder, or stuck in front of the computer or television, that which we hold most dear, can be gradually fading away.

Our children grow up and leave home, our friends lose interest and stop calling, our bodies deteriorate in health and become ill, and we become like visitors in our communities and churches, rather than a vital part of the group.

Asking ourselves "What's really important?" and then honoring that which we name, by making those parts of our lives our main focus, is likely to create a major change, for the better. Prioritizing by importance and then scheduling our time accordingly, would be a great fist step.

It is when there is a balance in life that we feel fulfilled. When we are feeling fulfilled, it is a sure sign that what we say is most important is being honored.

Innocent Gifts

My life path has joyfully led me to working with teens. This week-end brought in the JOY...big time.

Yesterday I introduced a new group of eight teens to Project: Inside Out in the kick-off event of a low ropes course day. It was a delight to see them opening up to who they really are, sharing their natural and innocent gifts and having fun in their process. The group consisted of eight students that did not previously know who their team mates would be. Perhaps they agreed because they knew that each of their team members would also be agreeing to be respectful and kind....unconditionally.

Today created an opportunity to extend the connections, learning, and gift giving of these amazing eight students, when we gathered to create an Alliance for our future work together and begin our "Inside" focus of the group coaching.

When a new group of students gather as we did today, we have a discussion about values, the Gremlin or Saboteur, and their unique gifts. That is always an eye (and heart) opener for anyone of any age.

What a joy it is for me to witness each student recognizing and naming what is true about them. The self doubts, fears and negative self talk does not represent the truth, and with any potential negativity absent, there is only more room for positive intentions and feelings.

There is much yet to be learned for these fresh, eight students over the next twelve weeks of in-school sessions of leadership training. I am honored to be a part of the process and know their innocent gifts will continue to show up as they support one another along the way.

It becomes clear, very early on, that each student has all they need to be leader in their life without even trying.