Shift Happens

I am constantly reminded how quickly things can change. Shift happens, or at least can happen, in an instant....that is when we allow our thoughts to create a shift.

Yesterday morning while I was out for my daily trek, I ran into a former JOY workshop participant. I hadn't seen her in awhile and stopped to say hello. When I asked how things were going in her life, she gave me the condensed version of three years of financial fears, frustrations and dis empowerment. This gal gave up a well paying job due to concerns for her overall health. Her home, which is in need of repair, has been on the market unsuccessfully for three years and is at risk of foreclosure. She is barely supporting herself at the present time, living day to day.

Obviously, in listing her various problems, she was feeling scared, desperate and confused. After listening to her feelings for awhile, it struck me that she was identifying herself with the issues that are currently present in her life. She lost track of who she was. I'm not talking about her titles, degrees or work experience, but about the truth of her.

As I reminded her of that which is the truth, I saw her face shift from fear to peace. I witnessed her reconnection and shift to a place of knowing she can handle anything that comes along, regardless of the situations.

Shortly after her shift of perspective, we bid our good-byes and continued walking in opposite directions. A half hour later at another point in town, we came upon each other again. This meeting was a joyful one. I could see her smile in the distance as she approached. This time she related to me how wonderful she felt. There was now hope and optimism that all will be well and that all is well even now.

This was an amazing transformation to witness. In the second meeting, I witnessed a woman that was connected to the spirit of her. Her financial challenges still existed. Her home still needed repairs and was not yet sold. She was still unsure of what the outcomes would be, yet looking at the issues of her life, from a place of peace, created an opening for unconditional joy to be present. What a joy and inspiration it was for me to witness this shift. There is nothing special about my friend that created this transformation in her perspective, other than her being open to it.

I believe without question, when we allow ourselves to look within, beyond our perceived limits and fears, we can all find peace, joy, and freedom. It also seems more likely that we can better deal with the challenges that are present in our lives when we are in a state of peace, rather than fear.

Wake Up and Smell the Lilacs

It is definitely lilac season in Wellsboro. I could have missed it, had I not awakened from my state of non-presence on my walk this morning.

It was 6:30 a.m. and after walking my husband to work, I continued my four mile trek about town. I was deep in thought, rehearsing my lines for an upcoming play this week-end, making my mental to-do list for the day, and essentially totally non-present to the beauty around me....that is until I got a beautiful whiff of lilac.

It was almost as if I was startled back to the beauty of reality by the unmistakable scent. I looked to the side of the road and there was a line up of several lilac bushes, all in full bloom. Of course, I had to stop and linger for awhile, appreciating this lovely scent of May.

Once I woke up I was then alert for the next lilac bush that would appear on my path. I wove in and out of side streets, walked the main boulevards and even through a few backyards, on my search for more lilacs.

Sometimes I fall asleep in life and can miss some lovely moments. Thankfully, there are certain things that remind me to stay awake. Lilacs are one of those things.

Make Yourself At Home

Early this morning in Yoga class, our instructor guided us to make ourselves at home in our bodies. I smiled when I heard this and thought how much more at home I feel now as compared to a few months ago.

My body has always treated me pretty well and I felt pretty comfortable most of the time. The past two years, however, brought some changes that made me feel like I moved into some other body. This was not a move up into a spacious high rise or a sprawling mansion, but rather more like a shack with a tin roof.

The move did not bring more comfort, but rather more weight, less flexibility and some new aches and pains. What added to my not feeling at home any more was the frustration of these undesired body related elements. I know many people in my age range, see these things as normal and give up no longer feeling comfortable or at home in their bodies. I resisted. I don't mind getting older, but I still wanted to feel good in this body that carries me through my days. I was exercising, eating healthy foods, and yet, my body home was needing some major renovations.

My body home improvements began in early February. I committed to take even better care of myself. I improved my diet, doubled my cardio minutes per week and added Yoga to the mix. I have lost 20 pounds and feel myself moving back to that body where I can truly feel comfortable and at home.

I often say "I am not my body", and I truly believe that. I prefer to not correlate the essence of who I am with my physical self. What is also true, however, is that this body I am in transports me to all of the wonderful physical adventures the essence of me experiences.

My body home improvements continue and when they are complete, there will be consistent maintenance to keep my dwelling as comfortable as possible.

Making myself at home in my body has added to my joy tank considerably since I have exchanged frustration with empowerment, fear with optimism and discomfort with well being.

Ahhhhhh.......home again.

Mother and Child

In a world where things change all the time, there are some things that will always be the same. Today, which is Mother's Day, the thing of which I am referring to is the love of mother and child. I am a child and a mother, so I know what I'm talkin' about.

This picture was taken at the adoption hearing for my son, Alan. He was eight months old and had been with us for six months. I can remember the relief of knowing that legally he was ours. Of course, he was ours the first time we held him at the age of eight weeks, but on this day it became real on paper.

It is hard to describe the power of love when you are given the gift of a child, although every mother reading this knows what I am trying to say. The really remarkable phenomena about the love of mother and child is that if relationships are maintained and are allowed to grow as both mother and child mature. Then love evolves too.

My son is no longer in my direct care. He does not depend on me or my husband to care for him, but he does know we will never cease to care about him. Alan has been living independently for quite awhile and still knows he can count on us to support him, no matter what he chooses to do in his life or where his path leads. He'll be celebrating his 28th birthday this month while completing his Army basic training.

As a child, I also know that love can grow and evolve. My Mom is 91 and now lives nearby in an assisted living facility. She's been my Mom for 56+ years and I am still learning and being inspired by her love of life and of me. She doesn't take anything too seriously and has seemingly added to her longevity and good health with her optimistic attitude. When we get together, we both know that we can count on each other, no matter what. I wanna be like her when I grow up.

Yes, this mother/child love thing we celebrate on Mothers Day is pretty sweet. Like so many things that are worth having, as long as we cherish it, maintain it and grow it, it will always be a source of joy.

The View

I am frequently entertained by the countless views or perspectives we humans can have. What is particularly amusing is that we typically see our personal perspectives as being "right". Of course that would be the case, since we believe we know all there is to know and have come to the conclusion as to what is "right" based on the obvious....that is, what is going on in our minds.

The truth is when looking at many situations, there are numerous perspectives that can be "right". The stretch for us is to open our minds enough so we can consider another answer, solution, viewpoint etc. Many times when we have strongly attached ourselves to a position or opinion, we don't know all there is to know and we fear letting go of our idea. Typically, if there is more than one person involved, there will be at least that many different views on the subject.

When more than one view is present, there may be a collision....In the defense of our view someone may be hurt....something may be spoken from a defensive stance that creates a mess, hurt feelings, stress, anxiety and even separation. Naturally when each person then looks at the mess, a new view is created about that newly created situation, and on it goes.

To be able to live peacefully, it seems to make sense to not hold too tightly to our own personal view. Being curious about the perspective someone else holds may open our minds to a whole new way of seeing things. Being open to a different view, not only helps relationships, it deepens our understanding about the connection we all share while having unique ways of seeing the world.

My goal is not to have to be right. I once heard author/speaker, Wayne Dyer, say if you have the choice to be kind or be right, choose kind. I take that as sound advice, since being kind means peace and that is really what I want.

Toot of the Horn

Many people I talk to are reluctant to acknowledge their gifts or skills. They believe that if they claim their gifts that it would be like tooting their own horn. I say "Why not?" The toot of the horn is primarily for your benefit. It grabs your attention and says "Wake up", use your gifts and be grateful for them.

Why not toot your horn, if it means you are even more closely knowing the truth about you? I'm not suggesting it's healthy for one to go around telling everyone they see what a great singer, dancer, or athlete they are. That doesn't make sense and would be more about looking for validation from someone else than it would about simply knowing the truth and feeling confident in sharing your gifts.

If we aren't truly knowing and owning our gifts, we can't fully use them. It just doesn't make sense otherwise. Owning means being able to think or even speak the truth about you, without embarrassment or minimizing.

Yesterday I was completing a form for a marketing company I hired, that asked me to list my strengths. As I began the list, I noticed it felt good to type out the words, neatly aligned with bullets preceding them. As my list lengthened, I noticed I felt better and better. When I really gave some focused thought about my strengths, I discovered some things came to mind that I hadn't thought much about before. When I was finished, I thought "the people that hire me are going to really be pleased with what they get".

I laughed when I thought about how silly it would be for me to hesitate in writing the list. What good would it serve? I wasn't comparing myself to any other individual, I was simply describing what a client would receive if they hired me. If I didn't believe it, why should they? If I don't believe it, how can I fully share my gifts with those around me?

So, I say toot your horn! Toot it as much as you'd like. The toot of your horn is not meant to make someone get out of your way, but to let them know you're near by and ready to serve.

Fearless Dreaming

I am a dreamer. I dream while awake and when I sleep. I had a couple of dreams in the last week or so that one would expect would be very frightening, and possibly even qualify as nightmares. I was pleased to awaken from these dreams noticing I had no fear as the stories unfolded.

The first fearless dreaming episode was a situation where I was working as a civilian CIA agent ( similar to the T.V. show, Chuck). I was in a very dangerous position with the "bad guys" chasing me. I didn't have a gun, only my wits.....that alone should have scared me. As I ran, hid, and swung from curtains, I noticed in the dream, I had no fear....not one little bit. It was almost as if I knew it was a dream and I could not be harmed.

In another dream a few nights later, I was in my home, which was bigger and higher than it really is, with walls of windows. As I looked out the back, I saw thousands of people gathered for a party I was having. For a moment, I had concern about only having two bathrooms, and that I really should have ordered some port-a-potties. When I turned my head and looked out the side window, I saw a million black birds sweep across the sky. I was amazed at the site and unafraid, even though the movie The Birds kept me ducking for years when I saw a black bird. The apparent reason for this swarm of birds was that they were being chased by a tornado. Instead of running for cover, I stood and watched as it came closer, amazed at this force of nature. Just as the tornado was about to touch on my house, it fizzled out.

I was very pleased when I awoke from both dreams that I was able to meet the situations fearlessly since that is just how I want to be living my life. For me to live in a fearless state, I work on remembering that life is like a dream too. Ultimately, I cannot be harmed. My body can be, but the spirit of me is forever safe.

I realize I have a lot of practice to do in making this concept really stick since sometimes my awake dreams of living the life I want make me gasp in fear of how big life can be.

I don't know about you, but I'm willing to allow my dreams to recur, reminding me that life will always be as big, and as grand, and joy-filled as I allow it to be .